I’ve entered the phase of analysis paralysis when it comes to writing about being childless/childfree by choice.
Not because I have nothing to say. There’s no end in sight on this topic.
The challenge is how do I get my message across without sounding like a bully?
This is a topic I will discuss later, how women with children bully other women without children.
I have not published in two days and I can’t worry about offending the odd parent who reads this because they have been forewarned this blog is pro childfree.
Exploring the long term and short term childfree life.
I’m a long term planner by nature. When people with children say things to me like
“You’ll regret not having kids later”
“ Don’t you want to be a grandma?”
I can appreciate their concern for my future wellbeing.
That’s a nice way of me saying they are just trying to lay down a guilt trip for not sharing their current suffering.
In my 35 years of living, I have come to be aware that short term goals are just as important as long term goals.
I used to think only the long-term was important.
I spent 20 years practicing piano and violin, thinking it was the only thing I would do my entire life.
And then I didn’t want to do it anymore. I had never developed other interests. So I struggled for a few years. It sucked.
Never, during that time, did I think that having a child would help the situation. Now that I have a clearer vision for my life, having a child would not help me accomplish my long term or short term goals.
I live in a country where I have freedom and access to anything I want.
I have followed my instincts and taken nearly 2 years' time off from a 9-5 job to just enjoy life and get in touch with myself.
What do I like? Who am I at 35 and what kind of life do I wish to create for myself?
Writing has been happening in the background since I turned 31, and I thought I would have to publish a novel first before I could write about what’s important to me.
Here is where society’s elevation of parenthood infuriates the childfree/childless community.
Any contribution to humanity is considered second-rate to the experience of raising a human.
People look at their children as validation of their own existence. Without their kids, who would they be? What would they be doing?
I understand this feeling. I looked at my music the same way.
When I stopped working as a musician, I suffered a massive and heartbreaking identity crisis.
But I went out and lived life and discovered other talents and interests that have propelled me forward in a way I never imagined.
What I’ve learned in life is that the things we thought were going to give us a future, oftentimes only take us part way and then hand us off to something better.
Being elderly no longer means sitting in an old folks' home waiting for your kids to make their yearly visit.
I think one of the greatest powers one can have is to boldly live life now and create something magical for humanity that will also allow for a comfortable life in the future.
Have a lovely day,
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist