tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89494923143148393802024-03-12T21:46:45.712-06:00The Bitchy BookkeeperA childfree lifestyle blog. For the girl who knows she has a choice. LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-54083156645382329202020-10-01T17:49:00.000-06:002020-10-01T17:49:59.876-06:00We Have Moved to a NEW Website!<p> </p><img alt="" id="id_f5c5_4561_a06c_e973" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/m-PwCiV3GjHCaPJsOr8yb45V0mEYNr_JOl_4JzIYzuu_TRn6hHH_BRRiS7LMmzA" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Hey there, Bitchy Readers!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The Bitchy Bookkeeper has a brand new site! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">After two years of using this platform for blogging, it was time to expand on the Bitchy Bookkeeper vision. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">From blog to childfree lifestyle brand.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-02NA8DPz3FAWT77hT8ho07BxFtAkE0V6ihWm1kmpwqmUCd_W8o9j-o_QE4skEf4ImFWznA5JD9DBYy2OgeYgesr55VHRHejbX18kr351yd9oR0IULUzaxvGE3rqUoZUmkLJbnw-1Aco/s2048/CAB7F2FE-F203-4840-BA61-DEDCC764B5B5.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-02NA8DPz3FAWT77hT8ho07BxFtAkE0V6ihWm1kmpwqmUCd_W8o9j-o_QE4skEf4ImFWznA5JD9DBYy2OgeYgesr55VHRHejbX18kr351yd9oR0IULUzaxvGE3rqUoZUmkLJbnw-1Aco/w320-h240/CAB7F2FE-F203-4840-BA61-DEDCC764B5B5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The new site will continue to have original childfree content in the form of videos, articles, and anything else I'm inspired to create. I will keep this site active as there are a lot of blog posts and I don't want them to disappear.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The new site is vibrant and interactive and a constant work in progress. I have more freedom to design it how I want and you know me, freedom is everything!</span></p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: large;"><a href="https://thebitchybookkeeper.com" target="_blank">thebitchybookkeeper.com</a></span><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">See you there!</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><div><font face="Verdana">LeNora Faye</font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i><a href="https://thebitchybookkeeper.com" id="id_7550_d9f3_aca2_781b" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper </a><br /></i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" id="id_29f3_f236_2d10_a248" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com" id="id_89ee_c5ad_b391_9377" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></font></div><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></p><div><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p>LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-917964729972617602020-07-02T08:51:00.001-06:002020-11-02T11:32:09.145-07:00What Happens in my Car: Childfree Road Trip <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLB3pBuggaW1MxAgmjk_AsdhVf1_lNlbmDUDp_PA8Ln0nvpODlOWRwIQpmgg2wN_AekEhX8T8GVX_M9SGDiFDhmNyWmguN7JmMyFKKUfcI789Ei6K-keO_zEIprJx_W1jrs7g92eSyy3w/s4032/IMG_1430.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" id="id_2033_13b9_a14c_bbc8" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/yu4ZUyS2Ni_gquHCO-8CVuWQjJ_fNGBnJMyjJSjr6XQiTRRikSMhHp6YLLvN9s4" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Happy Summer, Bitchy Readers!</font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Solo road trips are an essential part of my childfree lifestyle. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Due to COVID, I wasn't sure if/when trips would be possible this year. Luckily, I'm now heading west through the Canadian Rockies en route to the lake cabin I like to use. This place holds special meaning because it's where I spent 10 weeks in 2018 developing this blog. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">As I was driving yesterday, I thought of how different my life feels compared to 2018. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Back then, I was coming off a year of travel and learning how to write. I was also attending classes for my bookkeeping certification, fully intending to work as a bookkeeper.</font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Never intending to start a childfree lifestyle brand. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">As the summer wore on, I discovered how much I wanted to write about the childfree lifestyle. So I made the decision to focus my time and financial resources to this endeavor. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">A total gamble, very unsure as to what was going to happen (that feeling never goes away) but committed to the cause.</font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Fast forward to the present: I've made amazing connections within the childfree community, I've co-founded an incredible podcast/web series-<a href="https://3childfreegirls.wordpress.com" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a>-and the dream of creating my own brand of journals came true with <a href="https://childfreejournals.com" target="_blank">Childfree Journals.</a></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">I spend 12 hours a day, 7 days a week working on these ventures. Don't let me kid you..pun totally intended...this isn't a hobby. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">I'm not a life coach, I'm not an online community. I am an entertainer. I'm also a businesswoman. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">With the exception of Childfree Girls, I do everything myself. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Hence, 12-hour days. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Which brings me to the art of road tripping. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Western Canada is home to magnificent mountain national parks. I engage in a lot of iPhone photography as the views are so majestic it ain't hard to capture that perfect photo. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">But what does LeNora really do on road trips? </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">I'm petfree by choice.</font><font face="Verdana" size="4"> </font><font face="Verdana">No critters allowed in the car. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">I don't enjoy the company of humans while driving.</font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">I sing, loudly. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">I say: “holy fuck, this is so beautiful!" </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">A lot. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">My driving experience is relaxing and calm until I get stuck behind a massive motorhome or semi-truck trying to climb one of the many steep hills along the Trans-Canada Highway. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">Driving requires you to focus. This highway can be unforgiving in certain spots. And it’s bear season. Gotta keep your eyes on the road. </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana">For this reason, I rarely think about business when I drive. It’s pretty light-hearted in my head so I </font><span style="font-family: verdana;">thought it would be fun to take some silly photos of my car life and add some commentary. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><font face="verdana"><b>Drive-Thru with a view</b></font></div><img alt="" id="id_a2b2_fb98_8ac7_738" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/qCQ7Vbt1wpGIRLVvhQv-miux4nd7K0uRJjn_I9hMKPYgKCEKb-gAySCS-XWdge8" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><br /><font face="verdana">Waiting to order food. Behind me, a dad with 3 kids walked the drive-thru to order. I saw them park their large 5th-wheel trailer along the road. Many fast-food restaurants are still takeout only, here. </font><div><font face="verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="verdana">And yes, my steering wheel has rhinestones on it. <br /></font><div><font face="Verdana" size="4"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana" size="4"><b>No room for passengers</b><br /></font><div><img alt="" id="id_7384_c858_27ad_e6dd" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/KiIb9U5hNS0ORGosQz6u7vNHfAIRdJjckwpap1vDsNaYBEdbAPy-vv4wsQyx7a0" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">My backseat. I brought a little table to set up for podcasting, a yoga mat, a stack of journals, DVDs (no wifi for streaming at the cabin because it's in the middle of nowhere), and my towels, a pillow and a blanket in case of an emergency. I pack a lot of water just in case. </span><br /><br /><font face="Verdana">I keep a lot of soft cloths in the car for wiping the interior down. I hate scuff marks. Also why I don’t allow pets in my car. Ugh! </font><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKKchP2J0yGsUa2-EdYTzBSix8C35BJby2RS5CF-TBsG9pQ6W6Lm2eCUVuHagtNg3lfXMKNSIsUkY6JGuaOu58QoaLuoUXJlBXcZHxw6YFqBWW4MnaiR20UrmexE2QtZOgKQAbH-mesc4/s4032/IMG_1483.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><font face="Verdana"><b>Slogan of my life</b></font><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYbopYGQzSXZItr2lQbO5HNW9F8CkQLtQo-Cp_simV1QYDuzsPNbV2RZuGwDyaTCejK3M5lAhFm-tEAECB0Ub_n84IcyVp3oXWuvgNEU6V627m2-JOLNEf8fHGeji2urncRliD3PVHHPU/s4032/IMG_1485.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><img alt="" id="id_a917_63dd_9c64_ddb6" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-x8q_ADXeTtdCtXLDWTb_IZbdNY3VbWaqiGkKz5DpM6eydOnMCsHZDpE8LyPDTk" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><font face="Verdana">I was eating my breakfast sandwich when I saw the slogan on the truck: “Your food matters”.</font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">Yes, it does! </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">90% of the time, I stay in places with a full kitchen because I enjoy cooking. When passing through a place, I do settle for a mountain motel, which is another blog post unto itself. I made some interesting accommodation choices in my 20s. Oh boy. <br /></font><br /><font face="Verdana">I can be frugal but when it comes to sleep, I want to feel luxurious, even on a budget. So I find places that have the nicest-looking beds for whatever my price range is at the time. Motels in tourist areas have come a long way. </font></div><div><br /></div><div><font face="Verdana"><b>You say tomato, I say green apple</b></font></div><div><img alt="" id="id_ba03_bc26_171_da88" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Bofxep5TeC-WXXZ1KyZHxDYHLS3L1MTHRAFGIzHwApAvyCIjH_SC0jOxGMP2gnM" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><font face="Verdana">The week before any road trip, I eat whatever food is left in my house. This time, it was a lot of spaghetti and salmon. It’s always good to pack food in case you get stranded. Easy-to-open stuff. I mean, I stick to main roads, I only travel in the daytime, and I have a great roadside assistance plan. But shit can happen. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">Speaking of which, I always pack TP. Luckily, most public rest stops are open. I know all the best ones with the nicest toilets. That is important to me! </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font><br /><font face="Verdana"><b>I hate food crumbs</b></font><br /><img alt="" id="id_2dcf_7182_d5b7_1fbe" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/AbwcFm__b4_iFTvnASLaRYpAyuWrpXOllxibMluDyV_3bN2zg3EcIw5s-Ki0oiM" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><font face="Verdana">I detailed the car before I left, so even I’m not allowed to eat inside my ride. I was eating an A&W bacon & egger while drinking McDonald’s coffee from earlier that morning while gazing at the McDonald’s across the highway. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">McDonald’s has the best coffee, IMO. I begin every road trip with a large w/3 cream. I don’t eat much while driving. Three hours in, I will get breakfast and then snack on trail mix throughout the day. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">I do something else while I drive though, which may surprise you. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">I smoke cigarettes. It’s the only time I ever smoke. It’s a summer road trip indulgence I really enjoy. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE_zrmjTpa2KyaM221agd5qvwmnmo-DRHWg4DBV-vRH7Yu-a_7z4ajdjiYmbhGlgpa65hdABD-9TkSDqlTJKwNfh3IBR_mnzWIRoHSS_tkUI9zh5aT3LH3tWlT_kBvJA0p8u1B8_h4_-g/s4032/IMG_1487.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><font face="Verdana"><b>Gratuitous boob shot </b></font><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BvWkmDXfgAl70zQ_DKaYlw_MTNAqqTisTufpzgcXc3mPAaUOS8vs2p7O7J7EInVuvDIQrR-N3UOjOVGhbS5e1wENft6lcpf1QwQueLr59uzThozedPpdMhTKIsdM23tgcAUpEvU0Mvo/s4032/IMG_1488.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" id="id_5bb_59dc_27d9_233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BvWkmDXfgAl70zQ_DKaYlw_MTNAqqTisTufpzgcXc3mPAaUOS8vs2p7O7J7EInVuvDIQrR-N3UOjOVGhbS5e1wENft6lcpf1QwQueLr59uzThozedPpdMhTKIsdM23tgcAUpEvU0Mvo/s320/IMG_1488.JPG" style="height: auto; width: 240px;" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotok7FF17tgK2kIphFqUOC_QBxnDTU-nDFvV_dIeAHRKTwijfJY6k1hzqRuspi6YTX0rG8Zxa1pfxpBUtQVZfgr3ysF0-MJ_CSGa8CSiAJpK7UMS_Y2cF0wnuUQGq_4Kx0JoM-wK1hAo/s4032/IMG_1490.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><font face="Verdana">My reflection in the car window. Which just shows how big my boobs are. Certainly did not get them from my mother. Ha! That sounds like they’re fake. They aren’t. Very real. </font><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi90izBFXyiYlEmMPuv2qsMnigttKEKranr7q05_3wx_DlbCa0kYkcf80NaQFWB1fff1DLUbQ33YhOShleCpC6Ve4yDW0avW3wpzLgEVBxjZ17TIs_1kLxNFGxL0BqDHcPsXm5gyVm2aEE/s4032/IMG_1491.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><br /><br /><font face="Verdana"><b>Pandemic packing</b></font><br /><img alt="" id="id_4388_584b_e2af_984b" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/nC8LVLbiR1U62ITjZkV1KL9iNBTd5Ys2Bkhs3flNkle_2sd6kD8y6hYpDny_3MY" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><font face="Verdana">I now pack masks & hand sanitizer. I always stored baby wipes in my driver's side door anyway. And a cold thermos of ice water. Easy to reach while I drive. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><b>Sorry, the passenger seat is occupied </b></font></div><div><img alt="" id="id_afee_89e4_7976_2dd9" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/ddsJraRuIWKr8NIzEIOpX6QaQe1vVUD8psS3pu-6ZY6hzemJvoQKXY411XNJWBI" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><font face="Verdana">I can’t possibly take you with me on road trips because I need the seat for my stuff. The thought of road tripping with children makes my ear canals close. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">I did take my 2 nephews on a weekend trip to West Edmonton Mall once but that was a 3-hour drive and because I’m “auntie”, they behaved. I was still exhausted after. Kids require a lot of energy. I made the right decision for myself to not have them.</font><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguyuy-_8Df5DJ1rW08ag6LUIBCeGKGHuyKvW1Fg871rnaSioD0-OjD-jEipFth92LzZ7hAPXBaC0KfWiarR4CpCn4ZuPL34VJpiY3MTmgKw1-MCluQqmFJx6_x-X7dslXXhb3mGW_yXks/s4032/IMG_1495.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><font face="Verdana"><b>Parking job</b></font><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdJTTQ-qc3MjNulzjEKdh6_y3NGBOVW_NS1oNDpDwCvycPCfLeYGTOBX2lbkSm86rOgAnbOW_YNAXgDjNCFEHMJsVfCA4THmBy3RKss8d7zNnJ8__dBmO0OjgLNkJYr_hiTq8F5TYBIU/s4032/IMG_1496.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><img alt="" id="id_27c5_c308_8ee7_5168" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/DAR4YFWJrsqwseZr_v_revSaLz5gQaG5otCldfi56NjJtqJGz0HPflKhDsTfUU4" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /><font face="Verdana">I know how to park my car, I swear. This is such a stunning part of the country. 360 degrees of mountains. I pulled over at a visitor center off the highway. Then I noticed my parking job. Oh well. There was no one around to judge me.</font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><img alt="" id="id_d726_44db_21c2_4d22" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/3oTNj7_1GQvJqSlA95XAGoSSyNjnTv-D1qYNKeGQ74oKUWCk3nR4WmuvEbLWik8" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br /> <a href="https://childfreejournals.com" id="id_2a8_ab84_533d_e0cd" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper Journal Vol 1</a><br /><font face="Verdana"><br /></font><br /><font face="Verdana">That’s the trip so far, Bitchy Readers. Hope you enjoy some downtime wherever you are. </font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><a href="https://lenorafaye.com/solo-childfree-travel-and-doing-things-that-feed-your-soul/" target="_blank">Will post again soon. </a></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><br /></font></div><div><font face="Verdana">LeNora Faye</font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i><a href="https://lenorafaye.com" id="id_7550_d9f3_aca2_781b" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper </a><br /></i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" id="id_29f3_f236_2d10_a248" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com" id="id_89ee_c5ad_b391_9377" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></font></div><div><br /></div></div></div>LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-17724553536237368402020-06-06T21:53:00.000-06:002020-06-08T09:21:14.353-06:00The Token Black Guy <div class="graf graf--p" name="7604"><div class="graf graf--p" name="7604"><img alt="" id="id_bbe5_8f9e_bbe9_e9b" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/DBBEiWdE50qeRspHaaYd_FnFjv3yzu0upnel1b5vDlXqdbYMdMM6r5B47JDUomA" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip=""><br><br><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Dear Bitchy Readers. </span></div><div class="graf graf--p" name="7604"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br></span></div><div class="graf graf--p" name="7604"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>For this post, I am giving the space to my brother, to amplify his biracial voice. He is an ally to the childfree community and I know his words will be heard here.<span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></i></span><br><i><font face="verdana"> </font><font face="verdana">*************************************</font></i><br><span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: medium;"><i><br></i></span><div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>As a half-black, half-white Canadian man, what are you feeling in this moment?</b></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It has been a very emotional week for me.<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">I feel angry. I feel sadness. I feel frustrated. </span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">However, I also feel hopeful.<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The anger I feel comes from the years and years of seeing the oppression of the Black community via the media.<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span>Hearing stories shared from other Black work colleagues, friends, and family members who have personally dealt with racism directed at them.</span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The anger also comes from my personal experiences over the years to which I’ve tried to forget. But those experiences have made an impact on my life.</span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><br><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">One example was as a teen when people realized I was half-Black, I was labeled the<b> token Black guy </b>in my group of friends.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Some nicknames my friends used on me were:</span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>“Black slave"</i></span></blockquote><br><blockquote style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i> "Nig" </i></span></blockquote><br> <i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Porch monkey”</i><br><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><font size="4"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What I never told my friends was that </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">these names/labels actually hurt. </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> Not only me but disrespected my family and my heritage. </span></font></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">But I was too afraid to speak up at that point for </span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">fear of not fitting in</b><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">.</span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This was my failure.</span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><font face="georgia, times new roman, serif"><br></font><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The sadness I feel comes from hearing the stories of </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">countless families torn apart by racial-induced violence. Countless children losing their fathers and mothers. Even siblings. </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Countless parents who have lost their children.</span><span class="" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">All because of wrongful persecution and police violence based on skin color and race. </span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Seeing and feeling the pain from these stories.</span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Knowing that members of my family, past and present have also been affected by this.</span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">The frustration I feel comes from the question </span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">WHY?</b><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why is this still happening?</span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In this day and age. Why is color & race still an issue?<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why are so many people ignorant of the fact that this still happens?<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why aren’t our leaders, whose sole purpose is to take care of and protect the people, not doing so?<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The people, as in, not a select few but ALL!</span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Taking a knee isn’t enough.</span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What are <i>you doing </i>about it?</span><br><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I feel hopeful as maybe this time; things will finally start to change.<span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span>People are starting to wake up. </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">People are starting to speak out.</span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">People are sharing their stories.</span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">People are standing up for each other. </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">People are educating themselves. </span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </span><br><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><br></span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><br></span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">This is a start.</span><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </span><br><span class="" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><br></span></div><div class="" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.8667px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The persecutions, the stereotypes, the oppression, the treatment, the disrespect, the igno</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">rance—all needs to end!</span></div><div><br></div><div>—<font face="Georgia">Evan</font></div><div><font face="Georgia"><br></font></div><div><font face="Georgia"><br></font></div><div><font face="Georgia">***************************************************</font></div><div><font face="Georgia"><br></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Thank you, Evan, for speaking up. Biracial & Mixed-race voices often get left out because we aren’t “black enough”. This is colorism. Growing up in Western Canada, it’s easy to assume this issue is a USA problem. It’s not. </i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i><br></i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Offhanded comments, “it’s just a joke” , “I don’t mean it”—are microaggressions. </i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i><br></i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>Regardless of what color or race we are, the more mindful we become of our own words and actions, the better this world will be. </i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i><br></i></font></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chat soon, </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper</a></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Author of<a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank"> Childfree Journals</a></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Co-host of<a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank"> Childfree Girls</a></span></div><div><br></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>P.S </i></font></div><div><font face="Verdana"><i>I share my experience </i></font></div><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/2020/06/biracial-and-childfree.html?m=1" id="id_e1fa_b674_f41_2033" target="_blank"><font size="4" face="Verdana">here</font></a></div></div>LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-40485108637942281562020-06-02T10:19:00.002-06:002020-07-21T16:45:15.711-06:00Biracial and Childfree<br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Dear Bitchy Readers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">The last few days have been emotionally exhausting. In light </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">of the racial injustices happening in the United States and the call for everyone of any color to speak out, I have created a video sharing my experiences as a half-black, half-white woman. </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>The video is 12 minutes long and available to be shared far and wide. I have included a full transcript of the video below, for anyone who is hard-of-hearing or prefers to read instead. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Thank you in advance for listening to my story and feel free to share it with others and reach out. </i></span><br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="281" id="y_id_43cd_99b1_7683_e2b1" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WxZG7McHZy4" width="500"></iframe> <br />
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<div class="jx kj cf bk jz b hj ka kk hl kb kl kc kd hw ke kf hx kg kh hy ki gj" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7604" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.84); font-size: 21px; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin-bottom: -0.46em; margin-top: 2em; word-break: break-word;">
It sucks to be judged based on your skin tone and what you don’t do with your uterus.</div>
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<em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;">(Intro music)</em></div>
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My dad is a black man and he comes from a family that rarely acknowledges the fact that they are black, even though they are very obviously black.</div>
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(Family photo)</div>
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I don’t have specifics, I know that they came from the States and settled in Canada. I was raised primarily around white family. My parents were married until my mom died. So I had both parents at home. But race was not discussed so essentially I come from a color-neutral household.</div>
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My nickname in elementary school was “brownie” because I had a darker skin tone than this <em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;">*holds up a white piece of paper*</em>.</div>
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Do you know what my comeback was?</div>
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“Well, you’re a vanilla ice cream cone!”</div>
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How clever.</div>
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It’s important for black voices to be amplified. We’re seeing this all over social media. Here’s the thing- for me, I realize I have a black voice. but I have allowed other people’s expectations of what a black person should look like, what a black person should sound like, how a black person should act, and even my own expectations, the stereotypes that I’ve bought into, (because of these) <span class="jz km" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;">I have silenced my own black voice.</span></div>
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I have felt that because of how I look- this is the hair I’ve been given, this is the face I’ve been given, because I don’t feel like I’ve ever been held back from any opportunity because of what I look like, I feel like I don’t have a voice. I don’t have a black voice. I’m not entitled to say anything.</div>
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Yes, I can stand up against racism but I don’t even have a story worth sharing because I am not black enough.</div>
</blockquote>
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I’ve always had that feeling because when you were mixed-race you're too dark to be white but you are to light to be black. And then when something huge happens you are required to pick a side.</div>
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People being mistreated based on the color of their skin is wrong.</div>
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You know, the worst (time) for me was from kindergarten to grade 12, being picked on for the color of my skin or being told<em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “you’re trying to be black” </em>until I brought my black father to class to prove that yes, I am part black. Just because I don’t have the hair, my skin is this color, and I don’t act like black people act on TV — see I grew up without a TV so I never knew about black culture in the States. Being Canadian, I don’t know what black culture is here. Again, it’s a mixed-race thing. Maybe it’s mixed-race privilege, I don’t know. This is the conversation.</div>
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I don’t want my voice to be silenced even if it comes from a mixed-race background because I have struggled with my racial identity all my life. I don’t deny I’m one race or the other, I don’t understand completely. I come from two very diverse families. For example, my grandfather, (my mom’s dad) did not come to her wedding because she married a black man, even though he respected my dad and he treated me and my brother really well.</div>
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I found out later (I was in my 20s when I found this out and actually even in my 30s speaking with an uncle) that my grandfather was concerned about my mom having mixed-race kids because of the struggles that we would go through.</div>
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He was right, my brother and I definitely have had our struggles with racial identity and fitting in and where do we stand and how do we voice how we feel and <span class="jz km" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;">be accepted in both communities.</span></div>
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If you’re a white person watching this you may look at me and go <em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;">‘well you don’t have the problems that a full black woman has</em>’ and that’s fair. And then you may be a black person watching this and going <em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;">‘you’re a white girl with a tan! What are you talking about?’ </em>and that’s also fair.</div>
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But, that’s a judgment against the color of my skin right there. All we can really do is listen to each other’s stories and right now the stories of black people and I’m gonna say mixed-race people because a lot of times mixed-race people look black — look at Barack Obama, look at Trevor Noah. Halle Berry. There’s a whole long list of people that look more black (than I do) who are half (black).</div>
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There are a lot of stories out there and we all have our struggles with it.</div>
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What I’m struggling with right now is what my responsibility is. My struggle is in voicing my racial identity on issues that I feel so removed from.</div>
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There’s a reason why I’m not silent about the childfree lifestyle because it brings awareness and it helps younger generations realize that they have a choice in the matter.</div>
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Growing up in a color-neutral household where race was not discussed, I know this was done on purpose and this was intended to be a good thing — just like when people comment saying<em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> ‘oh I don’t see color I see people’ </em>they’re probably coming from a good place.</div>
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But in a moment like this where black people who have been silenced for so long, I think of all of my ancestors, my black ancestors who were silenced their entire existence. I’m not procreating so I am the last of that energy, that pain that’s been handed down to me from previous ancestors. I have to voice it because, I’ve said this before in previous episodes, that I believe that children are just the previous generations unfinished business.</div>
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Because I’ve chosen not to have kids, I am finishing all that unfinished business on behalf of all those who came before me. So even though I have this face, even though I have this hair and even though I might not be black enough for you, I am here to voice how I feel. I’m here to voice my story because of those that came before me were silenced and their sacrifice has given me the life that I have now.</div>
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I have freedom.</div>
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I have the ability as a woman, as a single woman, as a woman that is not having children. I have complete freedom to live how I want. To express myself.</div>
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For me to not say something about it, even though I don’t feel like I am black enough to say something at a time like this, then that would be no better than someone else saying to me that<em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “yeah, you’re not black enough to talk about your struggle and how you feel in a time like this”.</em></div>
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We can’t understand other people’s struggles but we can listen to other stories. I think the best thing right now is to listen to other people’s stories who don’t live like the way you do.</div>
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The last couple of days I was really upset about feeling obligated to talk about race especially because, well I guess I didn’t feel ready. I think people should express how they feel in different ways and I think it should include private conversations and not just public displays of<em class="ff" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “hashtag black lives matter”</em>.</div>
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I love social media. I love using it to connect with other members of the childfree community. I see value in it but there’s so much inner work that has to be done with all of us.</div>
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As a mixed-race person who has silenced her own black voice, I have to do the inner work first.</div>
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I am making this video and I’m struggling while I’m doing this video right now because I still feel very inadequate but I have to start somewhere. This is what I can do.</div>
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I’ve had conversations with other black women from around the world who also don’t feel connected to the struggles that black American women have. Even other black American women I’ve talked to who feel removed from the situation because they don’t identify with what’s going on either.</div>
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I realize that I have had my assumptions about the struggles of black people. Speaking with them privately, with other people who I would assume have more experience than I do, realizing ‘oh we’re kind of in the same boat’. Everyone has a different experience. Everyone has a different struggle, a different battle and we don’t know until we connect with somebody and share how we feel.</div>
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Go into the conversation without assuming anything. Looking at the tensions that are happening in the States and of course, racism happens everywhere — I know that because I experienced so much of that school. It’s having the conversation in a low expectation kind of way.</div>
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We wish we could say the right thing that would magically fix everything. But clearly humanity has always been fucked up. Read the Bible.</div>
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All we can do is share where we can and listen to other people’s stories.</div>
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Even if you don’t understand.</div>
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Even if you cannot relate.</div>
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Just listening is a step, it’s a start. And then, we just have to see what happens from there.</div>
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My advocating is for the childfree community. That is where I feel more comfortable and confident speaking.</div>
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Anyway, that’s what I have to say on this matter. You can always reach out to me if you want to chat further about this.</div>
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To all of my fellow biracial people who are struggling in this moment, trying to figure out where the fuck do we stand — because we’ve kind of always gone through life like this — it’s okay!</div>
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Write out how you feel.</div>
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Talk about how you feel. Text someone, DM me.</div>
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For us, this is not a social media trend. This is our life. Whether we feel adequate enough or black enough to talk about it or white enough, or whatever identity you feel, it’s complicated. It’s complex.</div>
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I just hope that we all learn something from it. I hope we learn how to communicate better with each other. I hope we learn how to share our stories and listen better.</div>
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That is all I can think of in this moment. Thank you for watching, stay safe, and keep sharing your stories.</div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I am open to any and all discussions, questions, comments, from everyone. I've had conversations with white & black friends and family members who had questions and I've been asking other black and mixed-race people questions. This is how we encourage dialogue. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>My email is <a href="mailto:info@lenorafaye.com" target="_blank">info@lenorafaye.com </a>or you can DM me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/betchybookkeeper/" target="_blank">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/glassviolin" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Pinterest</a>, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/lenorafaye/" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>, and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy7ed0AlQWes1XE1da7sWeA?view_as=subscriber" target="_blank">YouTube</a>. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Chat soon, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Author of<a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank"> Childfree Journals</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Co-host of<a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank"> Childfree Girls</a></span><br />
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-8524986018431955792020-05-24T07:00:00.005-06:002020-05-24T07:00:01.465-06:00Feeling That Motherhood Isn't For You?<blockquote style="line-height: 1.15;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hey there, Bitchy Readers!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana";">If you have a feeling that motherhood isn't for you, listen to it. Explore it! </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana";">And check out my new series called <b>Childfreeness with LeNora Faye. </b></span></i></span> </div>
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<i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">I took a hiatus to focus on the <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls web series</a> and <a href="https://childfreegirls.podbean.com/" target="_blank">podcast</a> I co-created. But now I'm back with a lighthearted, snack-able series for The Bitchy Bookkeeper <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper/" target="_blank">Instagram</a> & <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy7ed0AlQWes1XE1da7sWeA?view_as=subscriber" target="_blank">YouTube Channel</a>. I'll also be posting the videos and transcriptions here on the blog. </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Note: The videos are fun and catchy, so it's preferable to watch over reading transcripts, but I want this accessible to everyone. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Below is the transcription from episode 1-The Childfree Lifestyle. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> (Intro music) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">It’s hard when you’re 20 years old and you feel strongly that parenthood isn’t for you. And yes, you don’t have anything figured out at 20 but you just know that<em class="markup--em markup--p-em"> ‘I’m not going to pursue relationships with the intention of finding a father or a mother for my child’</em>, right?</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I would have loved to have had this conversation when I was young, you know, with somebody who didn’t want to have kids and chose not to.</span> </div>
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<strong class="markup--strong markup--p-strong" style="font-family: verdana;">Can we teach this in schools?</strong><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> Sign me up!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m available. I’ll travel everywhere. I mean, when the borders reopen. I’m available on Zoom.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m not here to tell people not to have kids. If you want them, have them. Think about it first, but have them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">There are enough parenting things out there for people but there’s not a ton of content for childfree people. And one childfree account is not a one-size-fits-all.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">There are people who</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana";">don’t resonate with my message and how I live my life, even though they are childfree. Just as I am not for everybody and that’s cool. I am for some people so I’m trying to reach as many “some peoples” as I can.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Should I talk about how I blocked this lady from church (when I used to go to church)? For two years, she’ been leaving these passive-aggressive comments on my social media and sending me DMs saying:</span> </div>
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<strong class="markup--strong markup--p-strong"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">“You shouldn’t be talking about being childfree and happy.”</span></strong> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I think it’s funny when people say:</span> </div>
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<strong class="markup--strong markup--p-strong"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">“I can’t wait for your generation to die out because then my child is not going to have to grow up listening to this bullshit of being childfree.”</span></strong> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Well, I hate to tell you this but the childfree community spans many generations and it’s not going anywhere. We are more vocal than ever and ten years from now this is going to be normal.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I hope.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m not saying that it’s going to stop people from having kids because if you look at any celebrity news magazine, every celebrity is giving birth right now.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I have great hopes for the childhood future, not just for mine but for other people. Anyone my age or younger, I think this is a great time to explore. I mean if you think about it, we’re living like the most bizarre time ever. </span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">There’s a pandemic happening!</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Anyone who wants to start a blog or is thinking about starting a blog and you have no audience and you really don’t know what to say, just start writing. That’s how I was a couple of years ago. It takes a while to find your voice and to say the things you want to say in a manner that suits you best.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Honestly, I am nowhere near where I want to be in being able to voice how I feel and being able to voice my hope and even just sharing my stories. When I’m 50, I want to be totally kick-ass at expressing my childfree self.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Seriously, I’m excited about 50. I’ve got 13 years until I’m 50.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">No, wait, OMG. 13 years until I’m 50 years old???</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Oh well, look at JLo. She looks amazing. I have to stop eating sugar.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Wow, there’s nothing like finding out how old you really are. I don’t feel my age and that’s okay. Whatever.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">It’s important to remember that this is your life and you know not everyone’s going to agree with how you live.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">You could have all of the kids that you could possibly have to satisfy society’s expectation of you, but if your happiness isn’t there, what’s the point?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>And there you have it, Bitchy Readers (Bitchy Viewers). The premiere episode of <b>Childfreeness with LeNora Faye</b>. It's been a busy few months, pandemic aside. My Childfree Girls co-hosts and I expanded our web series to include a podcast, and I started wearing wigs in videos. To become more at ease with being on camera. Over the years, I've amassed an assortement of wigs for fun but they were collecting dust in my closet. So now, The Bitchy Bookkeeper wears wigs in photos and videos. Episodes 2 & 3 are out now on The Bitchy Bookkeeper YouTube channel but I will be posting them on the blog next week. Stay tuned! </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Chat soon, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><i>Guest childfree blog posts submissions can be sent to INFO at LENORAFAYE dot com</i></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-88803872835687738682020-03-17T17:59:00.003-06:002020-05-23T16:50:42.758-06:00Childfree Entertainment During Social Distancing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Hey there, Bitchy Readers! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Childfree people can attest to the social distancing that happens when friends begin to have kids. We’ve been preparing for this moment for years! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">I began to self-isolate back in 2018 when I started this blog, so my daily life hasn't changed much with all this craziness that's unfolding.</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> I was feeling blah about not having any immediate travel plans but it turns out, the Universe was sending me a message: </span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">"you may want to stay home." </i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">My focus remains on building The Bitchy Bookkeeper as a childfree entertainment brand. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">When I was starting my blog, I had zero audience and no social media presence. I searched for other childfree platforms that could help promote my blog, discovering a lot of inactive childfree blogs and websites along the way. Over the last two years, some of my favorite CF podcasts and blogs have become dormant.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNjZKnQ6NFO2iivaYxek7zqW9UwRIWhMqtJHpyfI18AtE4MpG6qITGPn_VT1Sai1qA2cciAIYS47mbPLj9R_H4egZ0WdzMS_9xhSB2Tdcr8cORQjs8TnKOODeWhw2Z2dWyFltqrjrJnT4/s1600/F1113680-7934-4257-8356-4A35D31009A3.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1326" data-original-width="1297" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNjZKnQ6NFO2iivaYxek7zqW9UwRIWhMqtJHpyfI18AtE4MpG6qITGPn_VT1Sai1qA2cciAIYS47mbPLj9R_H4egZ0WdzMS_9xhSB2Tdcr8cORQjs8TnKOODeWhw2Z2dWyFltqrjrJnT4/s320/F1113680-7934-4257-8356-4A35D31009A3.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://childfreejournals.com/">childfreejournals.com</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br />I haven't had a day job since I began blogging. Between developing content for The Bitchy Bookkeeper, creating Childfree Journals and producing & co-hosting Childfree Girls, who has time for a job?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">One day I will go into great detail about the financial adventure I've had.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">It is one thing to <b>start</b> a blog or a social media account or a podcast. It's another thing to maintain and grow it into something bigger beyond your imagination. It's going to test your tenacity and passion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">On top of surviving a global pandemic. </span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hQMUFB27th0/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" id="id_816b_ed3a_d6e_bbfd" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hQMUFB27th0?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">While I recognize the archive of previously active childfree blogs and podcasts, I want to shine a light on a few that are currently active and resonate with me. To encourage the continuation of childfree content creation. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">I know how challenging it is to continue when faced with uncertainty about the future. This increases my desire to support other childfree creators and hopefully be able to offer financial sponsorship in the future. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">So without further ado, for your childfree listening and reading pleasure: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>(The podcast</i></span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> li</i><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">nks will send you to Spotify, FYI)</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/05IXY3GVzLgZgIhZ9QI1hS" target="_blank">Chill & Grace </a> - Episode <b>"Disrupting the Norm with Holly Krivo". </b>Host Holly gets personal in this episode, as she is the one being interviewed. She discusses moving to Norway with her wife, her choice to not have kids, and how she's helping other childfree women. I love personal episodes where you get to know the backstory. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/29cV9JJjXCSbI8dBPOWc8K" target="_blank">The Honest Uproar</a> - Episode "<b>Dr. Amy Blackstone"</b>, author of Childfree by Choice and "We are not having a baby" blog. This episode is full of insights on advocating for the childfree lifestyle. Hosted by Isabel Firecracker, this podcast features a diverse range of childfree women from around the world. I've also been on this podcast three times. It's a great experience from a guest POV and a listener's. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/4R14p0HHoegLt5fxPpLpPC" target="_blank">Unchained. Unbothered.</a> - Episode <b>"Armani: A Magnificent Millennial"</b>. This podcast </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #171717; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">features black women who live with intention. Hosted by </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Keturah Kendrick, a childfree woman. I'm a half-black Canadian woman but I don't know much about black culture in the States. I can’t even tell you what black culture is like in Canada. This podcast is opening my eyes to different experiences and inspires me to continue seeking freedom. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1261222451"><br /></a></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.choosingnottomom.com/" target="_blank">Choosing Not to Mom Blog</a> - Shout-out to fellow Canadian Caprice who has started a blog about her decision (and her husband’s) to not have children. I live as a single woman but I’m curious about the married-without-children lifestyle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://3childfreegirls.wordpress.com/cfg-behind-the-scenes/" target="_blank">Childfree Girls Behind-the-Scenes Blog</a> - Childfree relationships, dealing with pro-lifers, lifestyle tips and more can be found on this blog. Contributed by the co-hosts of Childfree Girls, of which I am one. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1261222469"><br /></a></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/most-recent-guest-appearances.html" target="_blank">My Guest Appearances</a> - As I said before, I like learning people's backstory. It helps me connect with their content. I speak freely about my life and love having the childfree conversation. This is a list of the few interviews I've done. Oh yes, and of course, the<a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank"> Childfree Girls web series</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">Diversity exists in the childfree community. Life experiences, ethnicities, sexual orientation, marital status, you name it. There is a lot we can learn from one another.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Let's all support the further spread of childfree content. While still washing our hands! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Chat soon, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<i>Guest childfree blog posts submissions can be sent to INFO at LENORAFAYE dot com</i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://childfreejournals.com/">childfreejournals.com</a></td></tr>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-34274167602541337172020-02-28T00:09:00.000-07:002020-02-28T12:45:40.451-07:00Will You Have Regrets? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCoMDpm5klmgRpE-V6tJFx1sBIED4gnb1nJzRehv4WUnPIiMpJ6aSi0iVkrLIaCebX452WSvO_sQEjBGKaRfdFv97Ij7PLimnLCksW-jfcDHptmFrDomsPS6gQhcrdO9uXoTGU6Ya3Lkk/s1600/LeanaDelle_3146.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCoMDpm5klmgRpE-V6tJFx1sBIED4gnb1nJzRehv4WUnPIiMpJ6aSi0iVkrLIaCebX452WSvO_sQEjBGKaRfdFv97Ij7PLimnLCksW-jfcDHptmFrDomsPS6gQhcrdO9uXoTGU6Ya3Lkk/s320/LeanaDelle_3146.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Greetings, Bitchy Readers!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>This week's guest post comes from Leana Delle -- author, speaker, and host of the podcast "Girlfriend, We Need to Talk". </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You’re just not feeling that instinct (of
the maternal variety), and you’ve mentioned to your friends that you don’t
think you’ll have children. Or, God forbid, you’ve told your parents. Reactions?
They can vary, but most often you’re subjected to eyebrow raises and some pretty
bazaar questioning:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Aren’t you being selfish?</b></span></div>
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<b></b></span>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><b>Don’t you want someone to look after you when you’re old?</b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><b>Won’t your parents/friends be disappointed?</b></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><b>Aren’t you afraid you’ll regret it someday?</b></b></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Most of these questions can be fielded with
little effort, in part because logic didn’t go into the formation of them. But
the one about regrets? That one can inspire agonizing reflection and lingering
self-doubt. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I’m here to tell you that the odds of
regrets showing up to haunt you later in life are slim, and I’m speaking from
experience.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As a teen, I knew that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if </i>I were to have kids, it wouldn’t happen until my thirties. When
I reached my thirties, I knew I wouldn’t have them at all. I’m now in my late
fifties, and nothing about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> having
children has been a disappointment to me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>It’s also important to note that my parents
didn’t pressure. And it is exactly that, my friends. <span style="background-color: yellow;">“Pressure” to provide them
with something <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">they</i> want.</span> Let’s call
a spade a spade. </b></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Also, my biological clock never ticked. Not once. Not even in
the presence of a pretty big snooze button. And to this day, I never look at
babies and wonder what could have been – not from the perspective of a
non-parent or a non-grandparent. Nothing. Nada. And I like kids! The
misconception that not having them equates to some level is disdain is ludicrous.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Most women who choose not to have children
have an inner knowing from the start, and it’s as natural an instinct as
wanting to be a mother is for others. Ignoring either is where the problem lies,
especially if it’s done on the guise of pleasing a partner. I’ve known several
moms who have confided after the fact that they never felt maternal and that
their children, as much as they truly do love them, have held them back. Far
more common are the millions who feel that their children are their greatest fulfillment;
something they knew would be the case long before conception. And I say, thank
God for them! Great moms are a literal godsend,<span style="background-color: yellow;"> but it’s not for everyone.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It’s important to me that you know you’re
not alone in potentially not wanting to be a mother. And it’s even more
important that you know that there are women out there, like me, who have never
regretted their decision. Maybe this will help squelch any future nights of
agonizing, or ease the burden of defending your position to others. </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Maybe it
will bring you peace.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Just know that your decision should be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your</i> decision, and if it’s heartfelt and
genuine, you’re on your truest path.</b> And, believe it or not, there are
potential partners out there who feel the same way you do. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This is not a post aimed at discouraging women
from having babies. Not even. My aim is respect for individual choice. It’s
brave to admit you want to do something out of the ordinary, and I admire that
strength. It’s also extremely brave to raise children, and I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">greatly</i> admire that, as well. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Stand tall and claim your path, regardless
of which speaks to you. As long as you’re hearing your heart’s desire and
living life to the fullest, regrets won’t find you in old age.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I’m Leana Delle. I’m 58. I have no regrets.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.leanadelle.com/" target="_blank">www.LeanaDelle.com</a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><b>Podcast Website:</b> </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.girlfriendweneedtotalk.com/" target="_blank">www.GirlfriendWeNeedToTalk.com</a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><b>VoyageDallas Magazine:</b> </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://voyagedallas.com/interview/meet-leana-delle-girlfriend-need-talk-downtown/?fbclid=IwAR21gvh1nGczLbybbTThspWDJHyFRnmE1fy1Ze8rzOFvJG2VZzHinMQOSv4" target="_blank"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Meet Leana Delle!</span></a></span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><b>TEDx:</b> </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbG89FYKzaY&t=612s" target="_blank"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Don't Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last | Leana Delle | TEDx</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>@LeanaDelle</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Thank you, Leana, for these words of encouragement. To know there are other childfree women who are living fully, without regret, adds to my own peace of mind. Bitchy Readers, check out the conversation between Leana and me on her podcast! </i></span><br />
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<b style="background-color: #fefdfa; color: #4f4f4f; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>Girlfriend, We Need to Talk-hosted by Leana Delle</i></b><br />
<div class="" style="background-color: #fefdfa; clear: both; color: #4f4f4f; font-family: "times new roman", times, freeserif, serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.spreaker.com/episode/22179155" id="id_b78_3cb4_9bf4_892b" style="color: #661d9a;" target="_blank">https://www.spreaker.com/episode/22179155</a></span></div>
<div class="" style="background-color: #fefdfa; clear: both; color: #4f4f4f; font-family: "times new roman", times, freeserif, serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="background-color: #fbfbfb; color: #212322; font-family: "avenir next" , "lucida grande" , "dejavu sans" , "bitstream vera sans" , "segoe ui" , "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>Are people who don’t have children selfish? Do they have something against kids? Are they destined for a lifetime of regret? LeNora Faye and myself are all in on answering these questions and more.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/tHSmZ8MT9-YiUzcl0wfsIxHPpha88X_QlSRV_AKm9YIofZrihq2F_kgVtPZyiiY" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="318" id="id_b55a_dc69_251c_9313" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/tHSmZ8MT9-YiUzcl0wfsIxHPpha88X_QlSRV_AKm9YIofZrihq2F_kgVtPZyiiY" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right; width: 192px;" title="" tooltip="" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Chat soon, </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank"><i>The Bitchy Bookkeeper</i></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Guest childfree blog posts are always welcome.</i></span></div>
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<i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Contact us at: </i><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><b>info at lenorafaye dot com</b></i></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bitchy-Bookkeeper-Journal-LeNora-Faye/dp/1078356971/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Bitchy+Bookkeeper+Journals&qid=1582860800&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper Journal Vol 1</a></td></tr>
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<br />LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-27513894900408961922020-02-17T00:15:00.001-07:002020-02-27T20:31:34.007-07:00From Guilt to Peace Being Childfree<img alt="" height="297" id="id_6059_e901_fb80_42ce" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/xXhPBOSYo12tWPJGIfCIkMEoJr1fR1zFt-wZH-Pf-3n6fWcAtQT5qnnIkCQ" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 192px;" title="" tooltip="" width="400" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hi, Bitchy Readers! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'd like to begin with a message from my </span><a href="http://instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper" style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Instagram</a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> inbox, shared with permission. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-style: italic;">"</span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-style: italic;">Last Christmas I met a friend that I hadn't seen for a few years. We caught up and I told her I didn't feel capable of being happy raising children. She's a mother of two and she said to me </span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-style: italic;">"Honey, you don't need to make your life complicated"</b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-style: italic;">. I really appreciated her understanding and acceptance and I feel less guilty. I used to feel very guilty for feeling overwhelmed by the thought of having children. I just needed to accept that I didn't want to put up with all the things that come along with children. So, I often remind myself that it is OK to keep my life simple." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Thank you to my friend for letting me share her thoughts. This touches on something I rarely write about: guilt for not wanting kids. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As I grow to appreciate and connect deeper with myself, I'm grateful I didn't cave to the pressure of having kids. Guilt has not been a part of my childfree experience but I recognize that many people do feel it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've been meditating a lot recently. This is something I do when I go into survival mode. Those moments when I have no clear answer or direction. Last weekend, I stood at the kitchen sink while listening to an affirmation video on YouTube. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">An idea came to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>What about meditations specifically for childfree people? </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whether you are decidedly childfree or still unsure, leveling up on your confidence and inner peace is always beneficial. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Before you tell me that meditating isn't your thing, I'll mention that these videos are super easy. I guide you through the 5 minutes. You can keep your eyes closed or watch the scenic images on the screen. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Meditating creates a space free of judgment and worry. New ideas can flow to you and your body relaxes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Check out the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy7ed0AlQWes1XE1da7sWeA" target="_blank">Bitchy Bookkeeper Youtube channel</a> for all 3 meditation videos and the Childfree Affirmations video. Don't forget to subscribe!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>"This is your life. This is your choice. You can have a wonderful, loving, fulfilled and content, childfree life."<br /> </b></span></blockquote>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Bitchy+Bookkeeper+Journal&i=stripbooks-intl-ship&ref=nb_sb_noss" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;"><span id="goog_1015851660"></span>Paperback Journals for the childfree community</span><span id="goog_1015851661"></span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Chat soon,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank"><i>The Bitchy Bookkeeper</i></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Guest childfree blog posts are always welcome.</i></span></div>
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<i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Contact us at: </i><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><b>info at lenorafaye dot com</b></i></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-50292107131015303032020-02-05T12:54:00.000-07:002020-02-27T20:39:33.387-07:00Childfree-by-Choice Gratitude<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Hi, Bitchy Readers! </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>This week's guest blog is from Janine-aka JLuxe. An empowering read about her childfree awakening. Enjoy! </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hey there! My name is Janine and I identify as a childfree-by-choice woman. This decision was made two years ago. Previously, I considered having children. Why? Well, it was because I wasn’t aware of alternative options. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Deciding to birth babies appeared to be the default mode in life for many, so I assumed that I’d take a similar path. Yes, I thought about what it would be like as a mother, but it was a romanticized version of motherhood. The edited kind of motherhood that you see online in movies and on TV.<br /><br />The ending of a three-year connection sparked a new thought within me. I was in a relationship with a man that thought he was being complimentary when stating that I’d be a good mother to “his” children. “That’s it? That’s all you see in me?” was my response.<br /><br />He seemed puzzled. He didn’t understand why that wasn’t enough for me. My desire to be recognized for my ability to create via words and visuals was more important to me than being a good mother to “his” children. Although I enjoyed his ambition and confidence, I knew the role he envisioned for me wouldn’t suffice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Following that awakening, I searched for information regarding those who didn’t desire children. During that quest, I found lists that detailed the rewards of being childfree. I also stumbled upon the confessional section featured on the Scary Mommy website. This is when the veil regarding motherhood lifted for me. The confessions submitted on the site are anonymous so mothers are safe to express their real feelings. While reading the confessions, there was a sense of being overworked, unappreciated and unfulfilled. Some mothers dealt with their realities by succumbing to addictions to food and alcohol. The comments confirmed that being childfree by choice was the right choice for me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Fortunately, the CF bingos I have experienced are minimal. One mother exclaimed “Oh! When you meet the right guy you’ll change your mind!” This insight was offered after I shared that I didn’t want children. That situation evoked emotions of not being seen or heard by others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Despite the occasional bingo, I am grateful to be childfree by choice. It is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My schedule allows me to explore varied interests, study new languages and attend events I enjoy. You know what else? I’m more comfortable being myself now that I’ve embraced my decision. Accepting myself has empowered me to attend a ComicCon, a Naked Magicians show, and various Holistic Health festivals. Yep! All of the aforementioned events represent an aspect of myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi03wZTARaAalhu7d6Gmx5SdX4bk4SOHTWkyiaR_gggPD38BTecCK6nmiBn7aPnygrk-bLfBXVn7Rd6E-7oFnYPF7avP4M4bH6biVoTxhJ8Jj8r7ZbezBZ2Kt_WUdMeQcSx5VPcjlfwxP8/s1600/funevent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1076" height="267" id="id_94f8_f689_8fe4_3415" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi03wZTARaAalhu7d6Gmx5SdX4bk4SOHTWkyiaR_gggPD38BTecCK6nmiBn7aPnygrk-bLfBXVn7Rd6E-7oFnYPF7avP4M4bH6biVoTxhJ8Jj8r7ZbezBZ2Kt_WUdMeQcSx5VPcjlfwxP8/s320/funevent.jpg" style="height: auto; width: 320px;" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Thankfully, I exist in a time where it is easier to learn of other CF folks; those who are willing to share their stories via various social media platforms and books. I appreciate those who have shared their truth because it has given me the courage to glorify my own!</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Janine Jackson aka JLuxe</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/janine-jackson/"><b>https://www.linkedin.com/in/janine-jackson/</b></a></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC6hhm-lmoTVkJ04-JTvgy6E26Q2HDmzfWI-Ie34vv2IXBbBboFZbs0JrnMz0eufeAXXMAN8_u6GKLkQ1T_85EVB2aWeqGXZFj-Np8X0hp3plwR_VCBTbZZ2LbcC7W9CHdYG_3XcoV6FI/s1600/Journal1.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1094" height="320" id="id_5ef9_fcb3_bba9_24e6" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC6hhm-lmoTVkJ04-JTvgy6E26Q2HDmzfWI-Ie34vv2IXBbBboFZbs0JrnMz0eufeAXXMAN8_u6GKLkQ1T_85EVB2aWeqGXZFj-Np8X0hp3plwR_VCBTbZZ2LbcC7W9CHdYG_3XcoV6FI/s320/Journal1.PNG" style="height: auto; width: 218px;" width="218" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Paperback journals for the childfree community!</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Thank you, Janine, for sharing your story! So many can identify with the desire to experience something more. I remember when I stumbled upon the mommy confession boards. Yikes. Not just the confessions about motherhood but the confessions about the state of their relationships. Nothing is easy, but if you don't feel compelled to live the status quo..follow your instincts. </i></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you'd like to share your childfree story, please email </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>info at lenorafaye dot com</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Your story can be anonymous if desired. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Chat soon, </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>LeNora Faye</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank"><i>The Bitchy Bookkeeper</i></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-17199169590247462772020-01-15T07:00:00.000-07:002020-02-27T20:40:41.813-07:00The Awkward Infertile<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hello, Bitchy Readers! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Today I have the pleasure of introducing Casey, aka The Awkward Infertile, as our first guest blogger. Read her wonderful post below! </i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sometimes the choice to be childfree isn’t a direct path. I know most of the readers in the Bitchy Bookkeeper community have never had the desire to have kids and I commend you for knowing that. I’m here for a slightly different demographic today. Those that thought they wanted kids but ended up without (and those sitting on the fence might appreciate this too). Often we refer to ourselves as <i>“childfree not by choice.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That’s the category I fit in. My husband and I went through a ton of failed fertility treatments and after 3+ years, 4 losses, and an obscene amount of money we decided to move on in life childfree not by choice. It’s been just shy of 2 years since we made that decision and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>First, I want to take a second and talk about the<i> “childfree not by choice”</i> label. </b></span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You see this term a lot in the infertility communities as a way to acknowledge we can’t have kids. I recently started an Instagram community called <a href="http://instagram.com/theawkwardinfertile" target="_blank">The Awkward Infertile</a>. In one of my posts I mentioned, I’m childfree not by choice and immediately got a commenter saying <i>that’s not a thing, I’m just childless</i>. Which is also true, I am childless just like ya’ll. We use this term to show that <b>it’s ok to end treatments without a kid</b>. That maybe we didn’t choose to be childfree, but we’re ok with it. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Childless implies loss and sadness. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Childfree implies freedom and fun. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Childfree not be choice implies I didn’t outright pick this but I’m<b> gonna love life </b>despite it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I found Bitchy Bookkeeper on Instagram when we were getting near the end of our treatment options and I was rapidly facing a life without kids. I found humor and reassurance that life would be just fine without kids. I know I’m not the only infertile that follows her either.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I followed her and others in the childfree community something clicked for me:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Having kids vs not having kids isn’t an equation of a better vs worse life. They are just two completely different paths.</span></span></blockquote>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />Once that really settled into my brain I became so much more at ease, and dare I say, excited about not having kids. Sure, I still grieve my miscarriages and wonder about the life we’d planned. But now we have 2 amazing dogs, I run 2 businesses I love, and we’re looking at doing a cross-country move simply because we can. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There are different freedoms and life options that come from not deciding things with tiny humans to consider.</span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The house we currently live in was picked thinking we’d have 3 kids and we wanted to raise them in this town. I doubt we would have bought this house if we knew we were never having kids. The freedom for me to build my businesses, nap and play with my dogs as I work from home, and for us to pick a new city to move to all would not be possible if infertility treatments had worked for us.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The grand point I’m trying to make is<b> life will be ok no matter the outcome</b>. If you’re still on the fence about having kids, or if you’re neck-deep in infertility treatments looking for hope when treatment options run out, I’m here to tell you: life without kids is good. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I have learned to embrace our childfree life, I realize there are not a lot of resources for those in the infertility world that either doesn’t end up with a baby or that mostly focused on the grief.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I want to create a space and voice for those women who made the choice to be childfree after having had other plans. I want to create a space where we can also <i>celebrate </i>and <i>enjoy </i>the perks of a childfree life. That’s my hope and plans for <a href="http://instagram.com/theawkwardinfertile" target="_blank">The Awkward Infertile</a>. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I know myself and my community don’t straight up fit in around here, but I’m so thankful to LeNora for letting me write this post. Sometimes the choice to be childfree isn’t a clear-cut decision we’ve known our whole lives, and that’s ok. Even if it took you a while to find yourself here it’s still gonna be a great life. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you’ve struggled with infertility, are now childfree not by choice, or nearing the end of treatment options, please follow me over at <a href="http://instagram.com/theawkwardinfertile.">instagram.com/theawkwardinfertile.</a> I’m just a DM away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Cheers to being childfree.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Casey</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">aka The Awkward Infertile</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX_6B5hhuuSnZegC1ZDvao7DGw84dIw9bqKxbllDRk69Qk1AEGDVUAzoIIcoIv3E7yrOYb82b-cpi7ms_JNS6tKHI5Sy8nNAyqaGM8xog1rythuqpYaOntEFGzMPAAa8uI2O9LRN_P05Y/s1600/IMG_E5056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1501" data-original-width="1242" height="320" id="id_8fd6_5d11_5ff3_cf77" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX_6B5hhuuSnZegC1ZDvao7DGw84dIw9bqKxbllDRk69Qk1AEGDVUAzoIIcoIv3E7yrOYb82b-cpi7ms_JNS6tKHI5Sy8nNAyqaGM8xog1rythuqpYaOntEFGzMPAAa8uI2O9LRN_P05Y/s320/IMG_E5056.JPG" style="height: auto; width: 264px;" width="264" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bitchy-Bookkeeper-Journal-LeNora-Faye/dp/1078356971/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Bitchy+Bookkeeper&qid=1578981575&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper Journal Vol 1 - available on Amazon now!</a></td></tr>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Thank you, Casey, for sharing your story. I'm humbled that you found some inspiration from The Bitchy Bookkeeper during a challenging time. </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Let's keep the conversation going, Bitchy Readers. Share this post on social and connect with The Awkward Infertile.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Chat soon, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>LeNora Faye</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank"><i>The Bitchy Bookkeeper</i></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Guest childfree blog posts are always welcome.</i></span></div>
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<i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Contact us at: </i><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><b>info at lenorafaye dot com</b></i></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-26000070478556212042020-01-13T00:30:00.000-07:002020-02-27T20:40:59.487-07:00Seeking Childfree Voices<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">HAPPY 2020, Bitchy Readers! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I feel a deep sense of relief. 2019 was the most emotionally challenging year I've had in a long time. By comparison, 2020 already feels like the best party ever. Ha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've received a lot of emails from mommy bloggers who obviously have no idea what this blog is about. They keep pitching me ideas like <b>"how to survive the holidays with young children without going batshit crazy!"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One mom pitched me ideas on what to do when you have two or three hours away from your kids. (This is what being <i>childfree</i> means to parents.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I now have a ready-made email that I send in response to such requests:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> <i>" Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, your content is not relevant to my readers as they have chosen NOT to have children."</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Each mom responds: "Thank you for letting me know."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I suppose they see the word<b> "child"</b> in "childfree" and assume my blog is about motherhood???</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Anyhow, all of this got me to thinking about opening up my platform to others who wish to speak about their <b>childfree</b> experience. Not everyone wants to have their own blog and writing can feel intimidating. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBqX-PGBA0-2o9nx1lCHfxhFgKc9l0nsRDW-0j9P5XvZfl6VpczvLFKKqfq5wtBvee9rzCO1P4c_rfZ9rXMzty-BhCHLnk9nlaaWnX8j3yKO28k_6R3E8CKiSmY1iEuHzmtTQ_5JdtO8I/s1600/IMG_E5595.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1212" height="320" id="id_d927_58fb_ed25_a6fb" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBqX-PGBA0-2o9nx1lCHfxhFgKc9l0nsRDW-0j9P5XvZfl6VpczvLFKKqfq5wtBvee9rzCO1P4c_rfZ9rXMzty-BhCHLnk9nlaaWnX8j3yKO28k_6R3E8CKiSmY1iEuHzmtTQ_5JdtO8I/s320/IMG_E5595.JPG" style="height: auto; width: 242px;" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Bitchy+Bookkeeper&ref=nb_sb_noss_2" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper Journal Vol 2 available on Amazon! </a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It only feels right, as I build The Bitchy Bookkeeper into a recognized childfree brand, that I give space to other voices.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I also extend the invitation to anyone who has wanted children but cannot have them or has changed their mind about wanting them. Uplifting stories of how you are designing your life without children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Perhaps you are a parent who felt pressured into having kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Posts can be anonymous or not. No need to be a professional writer. The intent is to open the doors of expression. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Contrary to the name, the Bitchy Bookkeeper isn't a mean brand. The point is to be entertaining and bring <b>positive </b>awareness to the childfree community. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you are happily childfree, on the fence, an antinatalist with heart, or turning tragedy into triumph, your submissions are welcome. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm not looking for hate speech against children or parents. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I mean yes, I detest the sound of crying babies. I rarely believe the fluffy, smiling social media posts of picture-perfect families. But, there are plenty of places on the internet for you to complain about that. This blog isn't one of them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>The end game:</b> content that demonstrates living a satisfying life without birthing/raising children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Submissions can be emailed to </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">info at lenorafaye dot com </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Up next, the first guest post! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Chat soon, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank"><i>The Bitchy Bookkeeper</i></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Co-host of <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Author of <a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></i></span><br />
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-45061595676910946652019-10-29T17:36:00.001-06:002020-02-03T13:25:49.925-07:003 Tips For Childfree Living <img alt="" id="id_ccaa_b56f_eddb_3a49" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/dFkpF7VSgZwvM9UL6fglbEl4GbJlJKkduBEuDfobrIaIZSwA9E5xWrjt4lM" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Hey there, Bitchy Readers!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><b>*Morgan Freeman’s voice*</b> <i>“Imagine a life where your dreams & goals get top billing. A life that satisfies you on a deeper level. And even though people question your choice and diaper commercials annoy you, you feel at peace.”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Before I was a 36 yr old confidently-childfree woman, I was an 18 yr old girl who wasn't interested in motherhood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Ever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">But I didn't yet know that I had a choice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Obsessed with my violin, </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had a car, an apartment & freedom. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But in the back of my mind, I could hear all the clichés:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i><b>"You haven't met the right man yet!" </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i><b>"You'll change your mind about motherhood once you have your first kid"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i><b>"Be fruitful and multiply"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i><b><span style="font-family: "verdana";">"</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Graduate, go to university, get married, have babies, be a MOM. That's what everybody does."</span></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">So what's a girl to do?</span></h4>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">childfree journal Vol 1</td></tr>
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<b style="font-family: verdana;">Tip #1 Focus on your freedom. </b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Here's the thing... the more content you are, the happier you are, the better choices you make. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But when life sucks and it's a struggle to slog from one day to the next, you have to find something that lifts your spirits.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And I don't mean heroin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Maybe it's cuddling your pet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In those early days of adulthood when I didn't have a lot of money and wifi wasn't a thing, I'd take my journal or a book</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> and go sit in the park across from my basement apartment. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I’d write down all that bothered me. All that I hoped for. All that made me proud at that moment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My sole focus was on making a name for myself as a local performer and violin teacher. I was also working at a part-time insurance job.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My love for being </span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">independent</b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> carried me through my tumultuous 20s. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Even when I found myself living with roommates and working at a job that wasn't creatively fulfilling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I realized it was temporary and so I kept aiming higher.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I made the most out of what I had. This led to better opportunities. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Like co-creating the <a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls</a> web-series!</span></div>
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A shot from our hilarious Halloween episode!<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whatever age & stage of life you are at, there will be some form of freedom that you have right now that you wouldn't have if you had kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is also great freedom in <i><b>knowing</b></i> you don't want kids. The time & energy needed to search for a baby daddy/mama can be used on building your dream life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Tip #2 Be comfortable on your own.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let’s face it, most of us don’t have many childfree friends, IRL.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Some of my close friends don’t have kids but consider them a future possibility. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m a busy girl and I’m friends with busy, successful people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’ve known most of them since childhood. Over the years, we’ve all moved to different cities, created our own lives and somehow stayed in touch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Since I prefer to travel solo and don’t enjoy group activities, I love that my friends are scattered around. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I don’t feel obligated to spend my weekends going out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">It’s OK to say “no” and do your thing. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Sometimes</span><span style="font-family: "verdana"; font-size: medium;">,</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> circumstances force you to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Especially when your best friend gets pregnant and going out for chicken wings & beer on Wednesday nites is no longer an option.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">It turns out, there is a super-cool person who is <i>dying</i> to be your best friend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">You!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Seriously. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Get to know this person. Hell, self-help books talk about falling in love with yourself...why not?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">All my life I’ve been told I’m loud and talk a lot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Both are true. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">But instead of feeling bad about it, I realize this is a gift for me to use.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Pair this with my love for being childfree and LOOK OUT society! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I get to spend my days talking about this way of life. And I’m making a lot of new friends at the same time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">When you are comfortable being on your own, you stop placing expectations on people to make you happy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When you are comfortable on your own, you don't sit around wishing for someone to whisk you away. You book your own ticket to paradise. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span><img alt="" id="id_e92a_c21c_e81e_cdcb" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/BNqqsO15LsBJltsU7G-k9f5d0cZ3ZaFwxLcjagQ2YxjvgoTQ8Pv8M0qKoBg" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>Tip #3</b> - </span><b style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Share your story with the childfree community. </b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">OK, so you’re not a loudmouth like I am. You don’t want to tell the world, yet, that you don’t want kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">maybe you’re ready to shout from the rooftops.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sharing your decision to not have kids, whether it be to one person or 1000, is <b>powerful</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My close family and friends have known for years that I'm not having kids. But for me, that conversation wasn't enough.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I wanted... needed to see more stories about others who chose not to have kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There had to be someone out there who didn't want to become a parent and DIDN'T become a parent.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />Sometimes you have to make the first move. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I started blogging to no one. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The more I wrote, the more I sought out other childfree people online.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://facebook.com/betchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Facebook</a>-not my fave but it helped build my blog audience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Instagram</a>—a happier experience and my fave way to connect with the childfree community.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://twitter.com/glassviolin" target="_blank">Twitter</a>—hit & miss but that’s how I met one of my Childfree Girls co-hosts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You never know what opportunities will come your way as you speak out about your childfree journey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If being public isn’t your jam...write to yourself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">Childfree Journals</a></span><span style="text-align: center;"> are</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> perfect for that. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">No judgement and they are entertaining AF!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is one final thing I’d like to mention.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>COMPOUND EFFORT</b>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">You don’t have to come out the gate with a perfectly tailored social media page or a polished podcast. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Start small. Start simple. It’s going to take a minute to find your style. I’m constantly evolving mine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">But all the little things add up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">18 months go by and you realize you have a decent foundation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">And then, onwards & upwards. With a minor crash here and there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m cheering you on! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Have a lovely day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Sincerely,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">LeNora Faye</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Bitchy Bookkeeper </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Actually an Author</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Former Fantastic Violinist </span></div>
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<a href="http://childfreejournals.com/">childfreejournals.com</a><br />
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info at lenorafaye dot com</div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-5299828458809271092019-09-12T13:16:00.004-06:002020-02-09T12:55:56.225-07:00My Daily Childfree Life<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Hi there, Bitchy Readers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I know my blog has been sparse this summer. Unlike Summer of 2018 where all I did was write from a lake cabin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">That’s the great thing about making progress on your goals. New opportunities show up just as you’re about to pack a suitcase.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">As a lot of you know, I stayed in the city to work round the clock on some awesome childfree projects. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">The journals are now selling in 14 countries on all Amazon marketplaces. In Japan, one of the volumes is listed under the Occult section. Not sure why...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">So now, another goal is to be the top-selling author of the Occult section on Amazon Japan. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Can we make this happen?!!?! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Ha!</span></div>
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<a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" id="id_fcbd_b9ec_bd75_1fb0" target="_blank">Childfree Journals website</a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’ve also been making peace with how I look on webcam. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Co-hosting the Childfree Girls web-series is a lot of fun. I’m not nearly the nervous wreck about it as we've now shot 5 episodes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">I do take a long time to do my hair and makeup, however.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">And then with the lighting in my office, it barely makes a difference. Except I can tell I’m wearing mascara. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m quite vain. </span></div>
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<a href="https://linktr.ee/childfreegirls" id="id_f7b7_c171_9d01_c0ff" target="_blank">Everything Childfree Girls</a></div>
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<img alt="" id="id_2435_8613_2e1d_bb54" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/BUBSEfC58zUn071ICdzEgfWnhrxYMrwegOp2QolfYX2ug2JgJDxnAGPPNYk" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Passion, not babies, gets me out of bed</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In previous lifetimes, waking up at 6 in the morning was not going to happen. I'd stay up until 3 practicing my violin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I now approach my day with a new strategy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You see, I'm excited to wake up each morning. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Because I'm building something that I believe in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Don't get me wrong, I have days where I'd rather chill in front of the TV and do nothing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But the thought of creating something that contributes to the childfree community excites me more than sleeping in does. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm super new to brand building and it's not for the faint of heart. For me, this is no longer a side hustle. I don't think it ever was a side hustle. I only began this a year ago. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I spend 18 hours a day working on The Bitchy Bookkeeper, which includes Childfree Journals & Childfree Girls. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">How the hell do you do that?!?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I made the decision to invest my own money into this venture. No backers, no crowdfunding. I haven't sunk a lot of money into this. Probably $1000 at most.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've learned how to do most everything myself to save costs and because I love learning how to bring my vision to life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I used the money I had to pay my rent so I could dedicate my time solely to this venture.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is a scary thing to do when you have no guarantees. Way out of my comfort zone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But it feels right, you know?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I break my day into 4 parts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>6AM-NOON</b> - Social media content for 12 accounts. Yes, 12! I also listen to 2 or 3 motivational business podcasts, do some journaling + 30 minutes of stretching/basic bad yoga and make coffee. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>NOON-6PM -</b> Personal errands, writing, meetings/recording with my Childfree Girls co-hosts. And brunch. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>6PM-MIDNIGHT</b> - Brainstorming ideas, editing articles & captions for the next day</span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: medium;">’</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">s digital content. Oh, and I usually make a nice supper. Sometimes I watch a movie if I need to turn my brain off. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The remaining six hours, I sleep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">7 days a week. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I live in a big city and don't really socialize. I'm in a phase where I love staying home and creating stuff so I rarely notice it's the weekend. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I keep my house tidy. As I live alone and am petfree this is easy enough to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">On the days when I record with Childfree Girls, my bedroom, closet & ensuite are a mess. Clothes, makeup, hair products galore. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I love mascara and lip gloss, that's usually adequate for my makeup routine. But since I'm vain and on camera, I do everything except contour. I have no patience for that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My biggest thing is that I have super oily, intolerant skin so I pile on the shine</span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: medium;">-</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">control powder.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Then I wash my face with the only cleanser my dermatologist will allow me to use. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Every room in my house has note pads, journals, pens & pencils. I brainstorm all the time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I cannot think of another time in my life where I've felt so creatively inspired and fulfilled. OK, that is not true. My days as a violin teacher and performer had me feeling this way quite often. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">However, I enjoy the process of creating so much more now. In my teens and 20s, I was so focused on the future, I rarely took a minute to enjoy the process. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In my 30s, I'm as hungry as ever to achieve but I also enjoy my daily life. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I love this decade of my life more than the previous two. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Probably because I live alone in a lovely townhouse with 3 bathrooms.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">That's always been my dream. Ha!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSolzX8sk7vCwSD7wKecL3sqjNrVzL99ixlo9Q_lbBqxROcrL8Ga-R766stLATv71J3wCT1t6Wod3Hu6cTUrEvXBJ0vxfhmxBdtgyGBvURwXXufDTjKedoigYEp-b6t9DUj6n-iWJQf1g/s1600/IMG_E2780.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1433" data-original-width="1242" height="320" id="id_8ebb_c886_ee45_a250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSolzX8sk7vCwSD7wKecL3sqjNrVzL99ixlo9Q_lbBqxROcrL8Ga-R766stLATv71J3wCT1t6Wod3Hu6cTUrEvXBJ0vxfhmxBdtgyGBvURwXXufDTjKedoigYEp-b6t9DUj6n-iWJQf1g/s320/IMG_E2780.JPG" style="height: auto; width: 277px;" width="277" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Staying motivated on low-energy days.</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Yesterday, for example, was a low-energy day for me. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep until noon. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I manage social media for Childfree Girls. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We have our daily group message meetings to brainstorm, which usually begin at 3:30 AM my time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We all live in different countries & time zones. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Right now, the other co-hosts are traveling, so I'm holding down the fort. I could have slept in but I made the commitment to post on social every morning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've been so consistent with it now for months that I've formed a habit. Muscle memory takes over on the days where I'm feeling less than inspired. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I really appreciated that habit yesterday. I did everything from my bed. For all 12 accounts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I slogged through my day, replying to messages, working on ideas and running errands. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I went to visit a friend to get a hug because I really needed one. I had a nice supper, watched a movie and was in bed by midnight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Today... I'm back on the energy wagon. With results from the previous day's work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm learning to appreciate the lessons of those low energy days. I used to get so stressed out about them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But now, I look around my house, grateful that I've made this space creative and non-judgemental. I'm allowed to feel whatever I need to feel. And then move on with my day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It takes effort to form strong habits that help you with your goals. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Each day I add to what I've started. Even when I don't think what I have to say will help anyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've had so much doubt with this blog, even as I write this. But I always ask myself </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>" Six months from now, how will my actions today help this brand?"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It's going to take 6 months to see results for the journals. And for the web series. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I see how things have progressed with this blog in 12 months. That is what keeps me motivated. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The messages I get from other women on social media who resonate with some of the content I share: a huge motivator. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have no idea who is going to see what I post. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>You start with what you have from where you are. Whatever you need to help you grow will show up. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">July 2018, I had an idea and went for it. I knew a fraction of what I know now. And in a year from now, I'll know so much more than I know now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'll look at this post on Sept 12, 2020, and think..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"wow, I knew nothing."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I hope this post inspires you to take the leap. Get started on your idea. You don't have to know everything. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Clarity happens over time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I tweak my website once a week at least. My social media is always evolving. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When you get discouraged, just think of the difference a year makes. Little things add up. Ok, I could add 17 more cliches. You get the idea. Just go do it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The Bitchy Bookkeeper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Actually an Author</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Email: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">info at lenorafaye dot com </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" target="_blank">childfreejournals.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://youtube.com/c/childfreegirls" target="_blank">Childfree Girls Web Series</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">The Bitchy Bookkeeper Instagram</a></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-32980587664313850752019-08-01T21:42:00.000-06:002020-02-17T16:06:32.270-07:00Happy International Childfree Day <img alt="" id="id_e197_2371_4eb1_f48c" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/WwKv6L1UFMxIvvx0sOoqrZVGoEav0OCZuoW2Yj1c9VBMSN-coDlU6eGqgSc" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Good Day, Bitchy Readers!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Happy International Childfree Day! (August 1)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Did you know this was an actual day? This is relatively new info to me as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It seems only fitting that I make the following two announcements. If you follow me on social media, they will come as no surprise. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://childfreejournals.com/" id="id_c348_bea3_dd53_30af" target="_blank">THE BITCHY BOOKKEEPER JOURNALS </a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> (</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">On Instagram </span><a href="http://instgram.com/childfreejournals" style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank">@childfreejournals</a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A new series of paperback journals designed for the childfree community. Volume 1 & 2 now available on most Amazon marketplaces. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Just type<b> The Bitchy Bookkeeper</b> into the search bar. Be sure to select your country's Amazon page for best shipping rates. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The link above takes you to my website where you can see more details about the journal. Amazon gives you a sneak peek inside as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've been journaling for 24 years now and own 21 journals. In the back of my mind, I always loved the idea of creating my own brand of journals but it seemed like a pipedream. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">June 23rd- I felt a bolt of inspiration. I didn't tell anyone. I was going to see if creating a childfree-themed journal was possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">3 weeks later, I had a proof copy in my hands. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">July 21st- Journal # 1 became available on Amazon and started selling. Journal 2 was published a few days later. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">August 1- I've had a handful of messages from women who are loving their new journals!</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Journal # 3 is in production right now. </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Covers 1 & 2 make me laugh. The invoice fine print!!</span>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Volume 2-dedicated to all the childfree women I’ve met in real life and online. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Interior</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">139 lined pages with watermark, for your thoughts, rants, and dreams. </span></div>
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<img alt="" height="400" id="id_f017_3825_cbd5_1dca" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/HWN1ys_gOhpq0oPNy_2NmeitRl-179J1N90ltjH_274C7DrSYh-FKbdtbCk" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 319px;" title="" tooltip="" width="319" /><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">11 pages with unique quotes about being childfree. Each volume has a different set of quotes. </span></div>
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<img alt="" height="400" id="id_bc69_3173_b328_dee4" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/EaKPXfCtMzfgc1FYYoGT9gMH8mIjExqWLz0irfTgzxaZlO8Ncjz6XW6va-o" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 305px;" title="" tooltip="" width="305" /><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I share 11 personal stories to entertain you throughout the journal as well. Each volume as different stories.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/3childfreegirls.wordpress.com" id="id_93c0_b508_d948_6194" target="_blank">CHILDFREE GIRLS</a><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span><img alt="" id="id_2894_2717_330d_9d0a" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/Qsemuyxauo7QKIlKFjr6p0zeQAqYsOI6e1vUz23tv-68sJDFJjQ_8glcOGc" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">A new vlog for the childfree community. The first episode airs on YouTube August 11th.</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYHWAtuVt6ODOMuxNdEEhqQ" id="id_436b_ed3e_7291_6eff">CHILDFREE GIRLS YouTube </a> —<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Episodes will be posted as of Aug 11th.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Featuring:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Isabel (Colombia) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Kristen (USA)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">LeNora (Canada)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">All of this has been the result of 18 hour-days<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"> for the month of July. And a year’s worth of little things that seemed questionable at the time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">So, keep dreaming big, Bitchy Readers. Don’t discount the small steps. It will make sense later why you even bothered.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Have a lovely day.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">LeNora Faye</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Bitchy Bookkeeper </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Actually an Author (Yay I can say this now!)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Former Fantastic Violinist </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">All the childfree links!</a></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-86797088367966913702019-07-11T14:05:00.000-06:002020-02-17T14:29:30.855-07:00The Bitchy Bookkeeper Turns 1! <br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Good day, Bitchy Readers!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">It has been a year since I began writing about being childfree. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">I created this blog as a way for me to speak freely about my decision. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">My original idea was to write about three topics-<i>-money, celebrities, and the childfree lifestyle. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I have this printed on the back of my business card. Handy for when someone asks me if I plan on having children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I still discuss money and celebrities from time to time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">However, writing about being childfree-by-choice has <b>opened up a new level of living, for me. </b><br /><br />Before creating The Bitchy Bookkeeper, I felt like an outsider when socializing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(My small social circle aside.)</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;">⇐That's a tongue twister. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Most of the women I know are mothers or have the desire to become mothers, eventually.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Scores of mommy-blogs and parenting lifestyle tips flood my social media feeds. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #111111; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: -0.2px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #111111; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: -0.2px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Someone needs to create an algorithm for the childfree!</span></span></span></h4>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" height="400" id="id_7ce6_2e5f_69d1_9577" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/WuQrGzlqqxgReuXYGiDx5HmOKwiBdS2qJuCMuAXVxt14aQDYSIh0iJbZ_98" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" width="288" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Instagram collab with author Kristen Tsetsi</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've spent 12 months exploring ways to create relevant childfree content. I've funded this myself, which is an incredibly scary thing. <br /><br /><br />Every day, I ask the Universe.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"umm.. is there anything else I should be doing? Because it looks like I'm sitting around doing arts and crafts all day."</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />In reality, I'm having fun with it. The bills are paid, so who cares if I don't have a "normal" job. I spent 12 years as a self-employed violin instructor and performer. No one expects me to have a normal job. <br /><br /><br />I worked for 6 years as an office manager and my work circumstances weren't normal either.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bottom line-I don't do normal.<br /><br />My feelings about not having/raising children have grown into a passion for connecting with other like-minded women. <br /><br />It's no secret that I love my alone time. I live alone. I travel alone. I do most of my activities alone. <br /><br />I embrace my solitude. I rarely go out of my way to seek new friends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've gotten to know other CF women who are creating products and services designed for the childfree community. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I’ll share three of my favorite discoveries in a moment.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />It's easy to think <b>" Oh, they're my competition" </b> but that is not the case.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We all have our individual style and approach to sharing our message. I find value in what they share. Hopefully, some of them find value in what I share. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />We come from different parts of the world. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being a childfree woman in Canada isn't the same as being a childfree woman in the United States. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />For example-<br /><br />Women have access to free basic health care, including abortions, here in Canada. I can go visit my doctor without worrying about the cost. I took this for granted until I learned what some other women are dealing with. <br /><br />My point is that we each have stories of value to offer the childfree community. This helps spur on appropriate action for change. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Banff National Park, Alberta Canada</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Bitchy Bookkeeper is a brand that supports the childfree & pro-choice communities.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Its purpose is to entertain and inspire. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I keep my website and blog free of ads and pop-ups. I appreciate the need to monetize. As a woman who loves having her own money, I’m all for generating income. <br /><br />But, I also want my Bitchy Readers to keep coming back. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This summer I will be introducing the first </span><i style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Bitchy-Bookkeeper-brand</i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> product. It’s being tested out first in real life because it’s an actual physical product. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />This will be the first item for sale that results in The Bitchy Bookkeeper earning cash money. <br /><br />From time to time I will also mention other childfree products & services.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not as a way to generate income for me, but as a way to<span style="background-color: yellow;"> support other childfree women</span> who are creating things of a<b> certain quality</b>. <br /><br />By that, I mean the item resonates with me and aligns with The Bitchy Bookkeeper's intent to inspire. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm not going to promote every book, course, podcast, t-shirt, etc.<br /><br />I make my email address public and any legit request I get, I look into. I take the time to become familiar with the content and creator. <br /><br />If I am moved by it, I'll respond. <br /><br />If not, it goes into a folder for later. I'm busy and sometimes I’m not in the right mood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have two favorites that I wish to share with you now.</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">( In no particular order. Click on the titles to link you to the websites. )</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://kristenjtsetsi.com/" target="_blank">The Age of The Child</a>-- A <span style="color: red;">novel</span> by Kristen Tsetsi. </span></h4>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" height="200" id="id_f222_1d5d_3be5_1f4e" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/Whn6B6MVcgvYGftT4hB4Tt0APWbeU0McNgLCBsMOzzQWKXPlARmNlLOs5eQ" style="height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" width="141" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Instagram post.</td></tr>
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I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">received a copy of this book and it grabbed my attention. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The author-<span style="font-size: x-small;">Kristen</span> has crafted a story from the childfree perspective. The main character doesn't change her mind about motherhood after she becomes pregnant in a time where birth control is banned. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Abortions are illegal. Miscarriages are investigated. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It may be fiction but it sure sounds real, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The reader gets to see what happens to children born during such a time. It's the details, the dark humor, that I love best about this book.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It will kick you in the gut! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I contacted Kristen to share with her how I felt about the story and the fate of the characters. We've since begun a fun collaboration on <a href="http://instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Instagram</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She sends me questions about being childfree and I post my answers in an artistic screenshot. I posted one earlier in this blog. <span style="font-size: x-small;">In case you missed it.</span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><a href="http://www.theuprisingspark.com/podcast" target="_blank">The Honest Uproar</a>-podcast for the <span style="color: red;"><i>modern, childfree</i> </span>woman. </span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">" Modern, childfree women share their life stories and discuss important topics for the kidfree community."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Isabel-Founder & Firebrand <span style="font-size: x-small;">(<span style="font-size: xx-small;">a term I've just discovered⬌</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">a person who is passionate about a particular cause, typically inciting change and taking radical action.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I received an email asking if I'd be interested in being interviewed on The Honest Uproar podcast. I found it on Spotify and loved the vibe of the introductory episode. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I ended up listening to all of them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Isabel interviews CF women from around the world. She has a warm interview style and each woman speaks so openly about their life. As I listened, I felt this awesome sense of connection. Even with diverse life circumstances, I could identify with each woman, including Isabel. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Hearing how they navigate through life as CF women was enlightening. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I'll post a link to my interview when it airs. Better yet, you can subscribe to the podcast and listen to all the awesome childfree women!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"> *************</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There you have it, Bitchy Readers. CF creations that resonate deeply with me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It's hard to pinpoint why certain things/people click with you and why certain things/people don't. Sometimes you get an inner nudge to check something out or contact a person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ideas form and collaborations begin. Nothing forced, just natural. It's the greatest. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Thank you to everyone who has supported The Bitchy Bookkeeper in any capacity over these past 12 months. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>LeNora Faye</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Bitchy Bookkeeper (neither of these things, but I know how to be, haha)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Almost an Author (getting closer now!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Former Fantastic Violinist (practicing again)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>email: info@lenorafaye.com</i></span><br />
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Click <a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">For all the links!</a><br />
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-69466772242304017102019-06-20T21:59:00.001-06:002020-02-17T14:31:31.154-07:00When Oprah Speaks<br />
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<img alt="" id="id_c2c9_6ce_570d_20c" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/xKf8E9Ps3uDC4n7UufrKZP0x3mOYBdIckKBIjh0KdkojmI7jM1b0p0iDytw" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hello, Bitchy Readers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Last night I sat in a packed arena listening to Oprah Winfrey speak as only Oprah Winfrey can. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My brother and I had tickets for the nosebleed section but when we arrived early, we got upgraded to floor seats. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>"You get a free upgrade and YOU get a free upgrade!"</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We wandered around the club level for a while before making our way onto the floor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was a party atmosphere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A lot of women with wine dancing to Beyoncé in the aisles. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't drink but I'm sure I got drunk off the alcohol fumes permeating the air. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The floor seats are so close together you can't help but get to know your neighbors. Lucky for me I sat beside a cute couple. We got to chatting about where we grew up and certain life experiences we've faced. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For me, it was a nice reminder that every single human being has a story. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The details may be different, but the underlying feelings are the same. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You can bond with a stranger over a shared feeling. </span></div>
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(I took a day trip on Monday to visit these Japanese Gardens 2 hours south from where I live.)</div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The entire stadium rose to greet Oprah when she walked out on stage. She wore a beautiful floor-length white dress. She looked amazing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We were sitting in row 16 so I could actually see her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">To me, the atmosphere was calm and cozy, despite </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">18,000 people in attendance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Oprah doesn't need flash and hype. She's very grounded and seems approachable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Even when sharing a story about how she once told the pilot to turn the plane around mid-flight so she could visit her dying mother. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b> "You can do that when you own the plane"</b> she said, to laughter. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Oprah has a gift for weaving her poor beginnings into her enormous success without making you feel less than. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You can tell she appreciates everything she has. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My favourite story she shared</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> involved her b/f Stedman. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He was complaining to her that someone had called him</span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> "Oprah Winfrey's Boyfriend"</i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> instead of his actual name, Stedman Graham.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She told the audience that she let him calm down for a while before reminding him that</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> yes, she IS Oprah Winfrey and yes, he IS her boyfriend. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She told him that <b>she was not going to shine less just so that he could shine more</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She told us that she spoke from a place of love and not fear which made all the difference in that conversation. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've only had one long-term relationship and I remember the days when I spoke from a place of fear. I hated that feeling. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Writing helps me to deal with feelings. To explore and express how I feel. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Oprah is an inspirational figure to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not because she isn't a mother, but because she was inspired to create a platform where she can be herself. </span></div>
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<img alt="" id="id_9305_ceff_d8b6_a046" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/lbmQlPZ0IHdIZ6lp8ZayoG7DgRBwqbm8k8lGjOaUFrqKJSsLtRZzkjbB_0w" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have you ever gotten asked this question:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>" What's the point of your life if you aren't married and don't have kids?"</b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I saw that question a few days ago, again, on social media. It can feel like a personal attack if you aren’t ready for it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The title of Oprah's speaking tour is called "Your Path Made Clear", after her new book which is going to benefit The Oprah Winfrey Boys & Girls Club in Mississippi where she's from. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I just Googled the facility and it's impressive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Anyway, having a clear path for your life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Knowing what you want to do and what it is you came here to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Imagine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I grew up religious so my "path" was to follow the bible exactly as it was "written" and don't question a thing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">That didn't happen. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I was 12, after years of music lessons ( piano and violin), I decided I was going to grow up to be a professional violinist and teacher. That's as far as I could see my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I did have a 10-year career and then I felt I had hit the ceiling. ( I began teaching full-time at 15.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At 26, my path became very muddy. I had no idea where I was going. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'd say it has taken another 10 years to get to where I am now, seeing another path for myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And it's actually merging everything I've wanted to do since I was a child. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Entertain people. Via music, public speaking, or writing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As I sat in the audience watching Oprah--a 65-year-old woman who has created such an empire, I thought<span style="background-color: yellow;"> how cool it is to witness someone doing what they love. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Her energy filled the stadium. </span></div>
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<img alt="" id="id_3ab0_7524_4648_9b4d" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/LqZESe4NwiOKtGGDRmh5zuMohTTjlrw0lr2SEpsLnl2tA713c6PChPFgTio" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I love my alone time. My solo travels. Singing to myself in my vehicle as I cruise the mountain roads. Even cooking dinner in my kitchen. Those moments fill me up. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And then I have so much energy to give out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But I don't want to give it out at random. <b>I don't want to give my energy away to a societal expectation like being a mother. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I want to give it to people who are <i>looking to feel better about life</i>. I want everyone in the world to feel like life is worth living. That you don't have to do the same thing that has been done.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As your life progresses you begin to understand its deeper meaning. If you ignore it, life gets really hard until it forces you to stop and take a look at yourself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know this because it has happened to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I love to talk and share life experiences. I'm an open book, you can ask me anything. I'm discovering the power of sharing because it turns out, most of us have common feelings about the same things. And then you don't feel like you're alone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Like not wanting to have kids. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Isn't it a great feeling when you meet someone else who doesn't want kids? </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or when you realize that visiting your hometown makes you feel all those icky feelings you had as a teenager. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We can surround ourselves with dozens of people. Have a massive social group and yet no one really knows how you feel inside about the smallest of things. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Those small things seem insignificant but they aren't. Chances are, most people feel the same way but no one ever says anything about it. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The next time you meet a stranger, mention </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">something in passing about how you feel if you're making small talk. You may find some common ground. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Oprah acknowledges that she is still on her journey and learning more about her place in this world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">She also says that life begins at 50. Which is great to know because I'm turning 37 in December and I don't worry about my age at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't wish to trade places with anyone else. I am me. I'm discovering all that I can do and I'm willing to put myself out there in a manner that suits me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Somedays it definitely feels like a gamble--that maybe I should give up and take a safer route but that would mean betraying myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Another good point that Oprah made last night. Standing up for yourself, in all situations. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, bringing this back around to choosing to remain childfree.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i> I, LeNora Faye, hereby declare that I shall remain childfree-by-choice as this is the path that I've been called to. I have a lot to offer this world, even if I can't yet put it into words. I am valuable and feel at peace with where I'm at.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And I wish this for you, dear Bitchy Readers, to feel valued and at peace with where you are in life. It's always changing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bitchy Bookkeeper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Almost an Author</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Former Fantastic Violinist (although I'm starting to practice again)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-69210398698098590572019-06-09T14:53:00.004-06:002020-02-17T14:31:51.795-07:00If You Feel Shame for Not Having or Wanting Kids, Read This. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjsYRhjqt1bzrLA8H3V-HNKaIwIfAaK6cN0FZ6YOPBegvVEfU0KSVhryUpMC6k8ZjaekMo5Rs6V-04Rvr9GeXMxtxJX4_qrNrjRavpG9E4P_tJbXzXikcay47WsBFrEVkH-Vjnc8Ak97w/s1600/IMG_3250.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" id="id_583b_fcaa_3aca_a9d1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjsYRhjqt1bzrLA8H3V-HNKaIwIfAaK6cN0FZ6YOPBegvVEfU0KSVhryUpMC6k8ZjaekMo5Rs6V-04Rvr9GeXMxtxJX4_qrNrjRavpG9E4P_tJbXzXikcay47WsBFrEVkH-Vjnc8Ak97w/s320/IMG_3250.JPG" style="height: auto; width: 320px;" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Good Day, Bitchy Readers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">First of all, if you are experiencing feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame or panic because you don't have or what children....let me give you a big, virtual hug. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't randomly hug people, I believe in personal space. But this morning I had an experience that was so intense, it gave me a greater awareness into how some of you may be feeling. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And I want to tell you that <span style="background-color: yellow;"><b>your life will be OK. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>So here's what happened. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sunday morning is a sacred time for me. Not because I go to church or anything. I grew up going to church 3 times a week. Nowadays I don't believe in religion or the Bible. I never got energy from either. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I believe in connection with a creative force that is beyond any understanding.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I like to open all my windows and let the sunshine into my house. This morning I watched two motivational videos and wrote in one of my many journals. I wrote to feel at peace with where I'm at in my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I wrote with the intention of being inspired to do more with my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I then sat in silence, drinking my coffee and gazing out the bay window of my living room. I felt that I had to meditate.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> To ask for a sign that my life is on the right track. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Today, however, I felt nervous about asking for a sign. Like I knew I should ask for one but I really didn't want to see a sign.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I never feel this way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I went upstairs to my 3rd level office. I left my phone and laptop in the living room so I had no electronics on the top floor. Not even a clock. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I decided to meditate for a minute in my office, sitting on the mini rebounder I've converted into an ottoman, with a large fluffy body pillow for my back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I sat for a few seconds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Palms up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Legs</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> stretched out, enjoying the quiet of my house. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Outside I could hear kids playing in the school playground across from the church. I could also hear the congregation singing as the church is behind my house. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I felt calm during my meditation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I actually began to speak out loud all of my dreams I could see for myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm an entertainer. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I want to speak all over North America and I could see myself in theatres everywhere. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">San Francisco.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Vegas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Haha. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Afterward, I went down the hall to my bedroom to make my bed. I just felt like it. The air is very dry where I live so I run a humidifier beside my bed to reduce static. I went to refill it with water and I noticed the bathroom light flickering. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the bulbs burnt out. I looked at it for a moment and then the bulb came back on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Odd, I thought. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Something told me to see what that meant. According to Google, a spirit was trying to contact me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now, I'm not the world's most sensitive person and I usually don't feel that kind of energy. I went back upstairs to finish making my bed and turn the humidifier on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I noticed a rip in my </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">blanket. It's a patchwork quilt made from my late mother's sewing materials. Most of the fabric she used to make my dresses when I was a kid.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My paternal grandmother made this blanket for me after mom died. My grandma has also since passed away so I take extra care of this blanket. It's pink and colorful and I'm using it on my bed for the warmer months. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Anyway, I took out my needle and thread to begin repairing this one patch. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Out of nowhere I heard a voice in my head (or felt the words, it's hard to explain). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>"I have to have a baby."</b></span></h4>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I ignored it at first and then over the course of a minute, the feeling intensified. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was like,<i> what the fuck do you mean I <b>have</b> to have a baby. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b>No, I don't. </b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My skin grew hot.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My heart began to pound. Chest pains.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Suddenly I</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> was having trouble breathing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I put down my needle and thread and had both hands flat on my bed. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I tried to look out my bedroom bay window and everything was spinning. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It felt like someone was screaming inside of me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BABY!!!"</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Over and over again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't have panic attacks but I realized this was a panic attack. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What was going on here? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Did I have to have a baby?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My body was feeling ill. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to jump out a window. I was shaking. My heart was going to explode. I didn't know what was happening. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My instincts kicked in and I began to whisper...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>"You DON'T have to have a baby."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I repeated this over and over again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>"You <b>DON'T </b>have to have a baby."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I kept saying this softly until my body began to calm down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I remember thinking about my new IUD. I'm not having it taken out. I'm not even sleeping with anyone right now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I realized this wasn't about me. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was feeling the intense </span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">shame </b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and </span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">guilt</b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> and </span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">anxiety </b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">that women all over the world are feeling. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was horrid. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I could barely move. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've been pretty lucky in my life to feel strong and confident about my choice to not have kids. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But I've met women who aren't so lucky. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As I said, I don't get panic attacks. I don't suffer from depression or anxiety. I have felt depressed and anxious, yes, but I don't suffer from it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The feeling passed as I repeated over and over again </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i>"You don't have to have a baby."</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My body returned to its normal calm state. I resumed my sewing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Well, I got my sign, I thought to myself. I never want to ask for another one again. That hurt like hell. No wonder I felt nervous about asking. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The light in the bathroom stopped flickering. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The energy was gone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am on the right path. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>I am here to tell you, you don't <i>have</i> to have a baby. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, I send you a hug, wherever you are.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you are feeling like you cannot live until you have a child or give in to the pressure you feel to have one, hang in there. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The truth is <span style="background-color: yellow;">you can bring life into this world that has nothing to do with a baby</span>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You are more than your uterus.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Yes, society praises motherhood, so much so that all the negative stuff gets covered up with: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>"But it's all worth it in the end."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you are feeling that deep panic, that endless anxiety, having a child will not ease that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Listen to yourself. Connect with your higher self, whatever you believe. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Something that is good and pure and right <b>for you </b>will not cause you that panic. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Being childfree is a gift. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Your life is useful and valuable. It may take you longer to find your purpose compared to your friends who are basing their lives on school schedules and baby's sleep schedule. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">That's OK. Keep focused, life will support you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>You can and<i> will</i> lead a satisfying and fulfilled existence. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bitchy Bookkeeper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Almost an Author</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Former Fantastic Violinist</span><br />
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a><br />
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-39800726922211356032019-05-24T14:52:00.001-06:002020-02-17T14:33:06.449-07:00Abortion Laws and TV Finales<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hello, Bitchy Readers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /><br />It's been a week since The Big Bang Theory series finale aired and 5 days since the Game of Thrones series finale, but I'll issue a spoiler alert anyway.<br /><br /><br />The events from last week, both on TV and in real life, set off a chain reaction in my life. First up, reading about the restrictive abortion laws being created in the U.S. <br /><br />I did my own research to get more information because I never trust social media to be accurate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />In the province of Alberta where I live, we elected a new government last month. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The government that won played on the emotions of those in need of jobs. Sounds familiar, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />I didn't vote for this party. I voted for the party I had voted against in the previous election. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Does that make sense? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In 2015, the party that won the election was a surprise. I didn't vote for them, but this year, I did.<b> Because that party is pro-choice. </b>And I came to like the leader. She wasn't perfect, but women's rights were a priority. <br /><br /><br />I researched the members of this newly-elected government. Most of them are <b>anti-abortion</b>. White and anti-abortion. <br /><br />I don't like to play the race card, I'm half white, half black. Equal opportunity here. I'm born and raised in this province and have experienced racism from kindergarten to high school. <br /><br /><br />As an adult, I haven't had many issues with racism. No one can guess my ethnic background anyway. <br /><br />I do experience sexism from certain cultures that aren't used to seeing a woman on her own, without a husband and child in tow. Certain cultures don't understand that women are free here in Canada. I can tell you some unsettling interactions I've had, even in a shopping mall. I avoid certain parts of this big city I live in because of it. <br /><br /><br />Nothing violent, but definitely an unwelcome vibe. <br /><br /><br /><b>Canada is a pro-choice country.</b> Abortions are legal and paid for by our health care system if you have a health care card. Our basic public health care is free.<br /><br /><br />The government, both federal and provincial have said that they will not reopen the abortion debate in this country. <br /><br />Even the anti-abortion government we just elected. <br /><br /><br />But I noticed something as I was researching the party. <b>There is an anti-abortion group that has been working to get this party in power. </b>With the hope of convincing the governments to restrict access to abortions. <br /><br />This is not in mainstream media because right now this is not a big issue. Getting the economy back on track is a big issue. <br /><br />But to me, women's rights are a <i>massive </i>issue. And I can't assume that my rights and freedoms are written in stone forever and always. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not with what's happening in the United States. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I felt annoyed and frustrated and determined all at once, as I sat on my couch, reading the news. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, in my limited power, what could I do to help make a difference, to make my voice a little louder?</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />I have always been openly pro-choice. While I've never had a pregnancy scare, I knew where I could go if I had to terminate a pregnancy. There is one private clinic in my city that specializes in abortions and miscarriages. <br /><br />Aha moment!<br /><br /><br /><i>Were they hiring???</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I went to the clinic website and sure enough, there was a job posting for an office position.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Perfect.<br /><br />I haven't had to work for anyone for two years now. I've had two different careers in my life so far. Violinist/music teacher, and office manager. <br /><br /><br />My previous job ended in 2017 when the owners retired and closed the company. Since then, I've had enough money to travel, write, take a year-long bookkeeping course, and discover what really matters to me. <br /><br /><br />I was now in a moment where I realized what mattered to me. <br /><br /><br /><b>Freedom. </b><br /><br /><br />Not only my freedom, as a childfree by choice woman, but the freedom of women the world over. Freedom to choose if they want to become mothers or not. To be single and have a lover or two or whatever. Male or female. Trans or cis. To marry who they want to marry<b> if</b> they want to marry. <br /><br /><br />The freedom to be open about who they are. <br /><br /><br /><b>So I applied for the job. I have an interview in two weeks.</b> <br /><br /><br />I'm very excited and hopeful. I want to contribute to the pro-choice community on a local level. In my city. In my province, and in my country. I have big dreams, the seeds are planted. <br /><br /><br />Online, this blog reaches the US, several countries in Europe, Australia, and New Zealand. I occasionally see stats for Asian countries but I haven't received any messages from anyone living in those countries. <br /><br /><br />By the way, wherever you live, I love to hear from you. My email is<br /><br /><a href="mailto:info@lenorafaye.com" target="_blank">info@lenorafaye.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And now, to discuss the series finale of two of my favorite shows. </span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've enjoyed The Big Bang Theory for years. It's a light-hearted show that I don't have an emotional connection to. Until Penny made it clear that she didn't really want to have kids. <br /><br /><br />Then I was like:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> "YES! A childfree couple on TV. Keep drinking your wine, girl!"</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /><br />But as I sat on my couch, with my popcorn, I felt this sense of dread. Sure enough, after a night of drinking, <b>Penny got pregnant. </b><br /><br /><br />I had plenty to say on Twitter about that. So far, that tweet is my most-liked and retweeted tweet ever. I love my 200 followers. <br /><br /><br />(insert my laughter here)<br /><br /><br />My Twitter handle is @glassviolin, by the way. It's old, from my violin days. <br /><br /><br />I'm on <a href="http://pinterest.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Pinterest</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/glassviolin" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://facebook.com/betchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Facebook</a>. The Bitchy Bookkeeper, all public, you can follow me if you want to see lots of original childfree memes. I document different aspects of my childfree life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm also documenting my first year having an IUD. I've now had it for 3 months. So far so good. Aside from cramping.<br /><br /><br />Anyway, back to Penny's pregnancy. I know it was meant to be a sweet moment, to bring the character storyline full circle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But it felt so icky to me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Because since I was 16, all I've heard is:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b> "Oh just wait, you will change your mind."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /><br />Flippant pregnancy storylines only reinforce stereotypes. <br /><br /><br />I know several women who didn't want children, only to find themselves pregnant. They adapt and adopt the cult-like attitude of every parent out there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">(Except my brother. He has two accidental kids, raises them full time, loves them but doesn't promote parenting as the greatest thing ever.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />Penny gave a few sarcastic lines in regards to her pregnancy and then spent some time vomiting in the hotel bathroom. <br /><br /><br />*Sigh*<br /><br /><br />I was already fired up about women's rights and this didn't help. I couldn't enjoy the finale. Even if it's just a TV show. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's wrong with deciding to not have kids? Penny could easily afford an IUD on her pharma rep salary. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After I tweeted my disappointment, someone commented on how everyone just wants to have a baby to love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">No, not everyone, sorry. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I loved my nephews when they were babies, I love them now. But I don't want a baby of my own.<br /><br /><b>On a positive note</b>, neither Sansa nor Arya Stark became pregnant in the series finale of Game of Thrones. <br /><br />This final season was disappointing for a few reasons, but at least the Stark sisters made it out alive and were able to choose their destinies.<br /><br /><br />Praise be! <br /><br /><br />Oh, sorry, I've started watching The Handmaid's Tale. <br /><br /><br />Ha!<br /><br /><br />Have a lovely day.<br /><br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br /><br />LeNora Faye</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bitchy Bookkeeper</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Almost an Author</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Former Fantastic Violinist</span></div>
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-37627732690084145512019-05-12T13:56:00.000-06:002020-02-17T14:33:26.831-07:00A Non-Mom Sunday In May<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Good day, Bitchy Readers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I usually avoid social media on Mother’s Day. I used to post something obligatory about my late mother.<br /><br />Posting about anything other than the joys of motherhood seemed wrong.<br /><br />Ok, wrong is a harsh word. Inappropriate? No. I can’t think of the word that means taking away attention from someone else’s big day. It’s still early in the morning as I write this.<br /><br />These days, I use my social media to support the childfree-by-choice community. Mother’s Day triggers a lot of eye rolling. Not at the efforts of mothers, but at the sentiment that motherhood is the highest purpose a woman can have.<br /><br />When I set aside my squeamishness, I appreciate that the female body can create and birth life. But it’s not every woman’s path.<br /><br />Since becoming active on social, I’ve thought a lot about what to post for Mother’s Day. If I should post anything at all. I’m not a fur mom. I’m close with my two nephews but I don’t view them as substitute children.<br /><br />My grandmothers are gone. My three surviving aunts are also childfree. My mother and I weren’t close but we were friends by the time she passed.<br /><br />I never went looking for a mother figure. My view of mothers never inspired me. I had a good mother. She stayed at home to raise my brother and me. Our dad ran a successful business.<br /><br />My parents set the bar for marriage so high that I don’t know if I want to make that attempt.<br /><br />My parents didn’t come from happy homes and they worked hard to create a harmonious environment. But I’m my own person and didn’t follow along to blend in. My brother was a better child.<br /><br />And now he has two accidental children of his own. A single dad to boys. They live with him full time.<br /><br />I’m not looking for a way to celebrate Mother’s Day. I love my peaceful Sundays. As I sip my morning coffee, I look out my balcony to the church behind my townhouse. I grew up religious. We met in select homes for our Sunday and Wednesday services. Churches were for false prophets.<br /><br />These days, I view churches as peaceful. Not because I believe in religion. I’m agnostic now. A large cross (a cell tower in disguise) greets me when I look out my home office bay window. The sunrise and sunset make it glow<br /><br />I find the view comforting. It also makes me laugh, considering my upbringing.<br /><br />But I digress.<br /><br />Motherhood is a real thing. It’s valued, admired, underappreciated in a real way. There are plenty of pretty prose about the joys of motherhood. I like reading mommy confession websites. Where the truth comes out.<br /><br />My epiphany happened at 22 years old. My mother died that year. My 19-year-old brother announced his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his child. My focus was on my violin career and I had rejoined my childhood religion.<br /><br />There was a lot going on.<br /><br />And then it occurred to me that I had a choice.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I did not have to be a mother.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">That was 14 years ago.<br /><br />So today, like every day, I celebrate my choice to be childfree. I live life on my terms. I celebrate being alive in a time where I can be open about how I live and why.<br /><br />I’m also super excited for tonight’s penultimate episode of Game of Thrones.<br /><br />That is what made me not dread this Mother’s Day. Maybe Cersei will get her due. Or maybe she’s meant for the Iron Throne.<br /><br />Not my preference.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bitchy Bookkeeper </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Almost an Author </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Former Fantastic Violinist </span></div>
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></div>
LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-55076414045560636072019-04-25T14:31:00.000-06:002020-02-17T14:33:43.842-07:00Your Childfree Journey<img alt="" height="320" id="id_3d4f_5cdd_2cd2_42cd" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/W3wgHYM912CLAsE9UMmJH4X1ZU__bPN1otTALeV81aMcnEXznEKaLyxseyc" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="" tooltip="" width="240" /><br />
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Good day, Bitchy Readers.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Do you ever feel like a broken record when people ask you about your kids?</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>“I don’t have kids”</i> you reply. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>“Why not?”</i> they ask.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">You give them whatever answer is handy. A week later, the same conversation occurs. Month after month. Year after year. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Family. Friends. Co-workers. Strangers. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>Argh!</i> Do people not have anything else or original to discuss? </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">I get it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">I have friends with kids. Most of the conversation is about what the kids are up to. Parents don’t have anything going on that doesn’t involve their children. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Unless they have nannies and a thriving career outside of their home. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">I stopped following on Instagram most celebrities who became parents. I’m interested in motivating posts about careers, not motherhood. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">This is how I feel on the surface. My shallow emotions. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Deep down, I'm motivated to create a global platform. One that brings awareness to living childfree.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I could have gotten married in my 20s. Several times. Many nice guys who had marriage and family on the brain. I had no interest. I liked men but I had to explore my sexuality a lot more. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">At 36, I’m not interested in being a wife. To a man or a woman. I have embraced my desire and need for massive amounts of alone time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";">I’ve embraced my role as auntie to my two nephews. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I had a busy week. I took a last minute road trip to a mountain village I had never been to. Then I came home and hosted Easter dinner. My brother left his two kids with me for a couple of nights.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">The nephews and I had a fun time. We stayed up late watching movies. We spent hours at the park. Got Slurpees, ate too much popcorn, and discussed all sorts of things about life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Then, I drove an hour to take them back home. And cleaned up the two bathrooms they used. Boys are gross. Even though they try to keep the toilets clean. Auntie’s house rules. Ha. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">My en-suite bathroom is off limits. For my use only. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">If you are a fencesitter or you know that you don’t want kids, focus on what brings you joy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">It’s easy to be in defense mode because everyone wants to convert you. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";"><i>“Join our cult of parenthood”</i>, they cry. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";">There are happy parents who enjoy parenting. There are exhausted parents who love their kids but hate parenting. There are parents who lie and say how great life is. They like being seen as loving parents but that’s about it. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";">You never know who you’re dealing with. The truth comes out later on.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";">After focusing on my nephews for over two days straight, I know I would not enjoy parenting. Yes, I would adapt and there would be aspects that I’d like, probably. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";">Even in my toughest times, there is always something to enjoy. But this is my one life. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: "verdana";">This is your one life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><i>“What makes you so important that you won’t have kids?” </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Questions like these are not really about you. Rather, they speak to the mindset of those asking. Sometimes you offend people by sharing your childfree preference. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Secure people will be supportive. That was a nice discovery. Because I speak openly about not having kids, I get a wide variety of feedback.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Some parents see the appeal. Some are horrified at me not having kids. Some have become open-minded that parenthood isn’t for everyone. </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">A lot of parents will say “parenthood isn’t for everyone, but.......” and give you a long list of reasons why they are glad they did it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Most of society won't call you brave for deciding to not procreate. Society gives the bravery badge to those who speak out about infertility, miscarriages, and the stresses of parenthood. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Choosing to not have kids is seen as selfish, lazy, and uninspired. Your reasons for being childfree fall on deaf ears. All of your efforts to better yourself and your life are deemed meaningless. Even by people who say they love you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">There are moments when you will feel alone and unsure. But you know it's best for you. You don't have that pull, that calling, that longing to have a child. Talking about being childfree has been one of the best things I have ever done. A community has opened up. It has also allowed me to let go of certain people in my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Speaking up for yourself and your life brings an adjustment period. But then, there is freedom. Freedom to make choices that better your life. Choosing for yourself builds confidence. Confidence will take you great places. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Have a lovely day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Sincerely, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Bitchy Bookkeeper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Almost an Author</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Former Fantastic Violinist</span><br />
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-35685534759641157422019-04-11T12:46:00.001-06:002020-02-17T14:35:06.067-07:00Confidently Childfree<img alt="" id="id_c814_1d60_e378_aed5" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/O5ihJ6sUUk5Dxl1z9Y6-nZR1S1mZlTR5fFMTEK_l8ffG9RBbIKWe_VV0eD4" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Good day, Bitchy Readers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Random acts of kindness to yourself. What are your thoughts? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Being childfree doesn’t mean your life is leisure 24/7. Whether you are focusing on your fitness, a business, or working extra hours to afford a dream trip, there are moments when you need a time out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I love going to the movie theater for an escape. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Or, on a sunny day, I will take a drive to the mountains. A playlist of my favorite songs and a London fog latte. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I’m taking some professional development courses right now. One of them is kicking my ass. Yesterday morning, I had the urge to go to the nail salon. Long overdue for a mani/pedi but this was low on my list of priorities. I had an exam to finish and a blog to work on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I had to remind myself that I have the freedom to drop everything and go to the nail salon on a Wednesday morning. I chose this life, I should enjoy it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">At the salon, I struck up a conversation with the woman next to me getting a pedicure. We were discussing our traveling preferences and I mentioned that I travel alone. She didn’t bat an eye when I spoke of being childfree by choice. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Our conversation progressed to politics as we are having an election where I live. We laughed at how neither of us enjoys talking politics. But as we were sitting in massage chairs getting our toes painted, it seemed like a safe place to share our views. It was a lovely conversation overall.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">When I left the salon, I felt uplifted and energized. Bright pink toes and sparkly fingernails will do that. But what struck me the most was how <b><i>normal and easy</i></b> it was to say “I’m childfree” and not feel defensive about it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Then the unthinkable happened. I made an Instagram video. Omg! I’m not a fan of selfies so making a video is beyond my comfort zone but I found it quite therapeutic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">It’s 7 minutes, you can listen to while you work. I share my experience gaining confidence and inner peace with being childfree. </span></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/BwFyzKjlUJm/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=rcwbs135k1lt" id="id_9c16_df2f_4e99_a24c" target="_blank">Confidently Childfree-candid video</a><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">The response has been cool and encouraging so I’ll make another one this week. I’m a natural “talker”, I just don’t like watching myself. It’s an experiment. Pushing past boundaries. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Building confidence in any area of your life is important. When it comes to not having children, confidence helps deal with the naysayers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Whether by choice or circumstance, know that you are making the most of your life and abilities. Even if it’s for a moment. You can build on that moment and turn it into 5 minutes. Day in, day out, finding moments of inner peace. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Embrace your life and your choices. People will feel your confidence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Have a lovely day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Sincerely,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">LeNora Faye</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Bitchy Bookkeeper </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Almost an Author </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Former Fantastic Violinist </span></div>
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></div>
LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-33682077572764934822019-04-01T13:54:00.000-06:002020-02-17T14:35:29.991-07:00 Childfree Excitement in the Air<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hello, Bitchy Readers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is something hopeful about Spring. More daylight, the birds singing. Coming out of hibernation. Shedding the winter wardrobe and window shopping for summer sandals. <br /><br />The landscapers are out today. Clearing away the dead leaves and winter sludge. All weekend, people were washing and vacuuming out their vehicles. I cleaned out my SUV last Friday. It didn't take very long, perks of being childfree. <br /><br />Being open to new opportunities while working towards a specific goal is on my mind today. A year ago, I began taking a continuing education course to upgrade my bookkeeping skills. I also decided to move.<br /><br />There was a level of uncertainty as to how the year would unfold. I look back now and think, why did I worry? The year was full of adventure. Lots of road trips. School gave me the challenge I needed. I moved into this lovely townhouse that I love living in.<br /><br />The thought of having the same routine and life year after year holds no appeal. Yes, there are certain constants that are important. Maintaining good health. Having a place to call home. Who wants to move every year?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Reaching new levels in life requires letting go of certain thoughts. Even people. What you pay attention to is going to determine your experience. Not everyone is going to understand or offer the support you need. That's OK. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Inspiration on what to do next happens when you are open to receiving it. The right people, the right time, the right resources will show up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Waking up in the morning and adjusting your attitude is a good place to start. You may not wake up happy at first. But take a look around. Find something that makes you smile. Start from there and carry on with your dreams. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bitchy Bookkeeper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Almost an Author</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Former Fantastic Violinist </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a><br />
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-53114460255277287212019-03-25T14:42:00.002-06:002020-02-17T14:37:01.228-07:00Consistent Childfree Communication<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="86tss" data-offset-key="5uogo-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";">Hello, Dear Bitchy Readers.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span data-offset-key="5uogo-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Spring is here. Yay! The snow has melted in my part of the world for the time being. However, the weather can change at any moment. I'm lucky if the cherry blossoms come out by May.</span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5uogo-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">I've had my IUD for a full month now. Constant cramping. Not a fan. But I need to stick it out. I've had some minor skin breakouts but I have a good skin care routine as prescribed by my dermatologist. </span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6u9g6-0-0" style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">When I began this blog last July, I didn't have a big plan. I just started writing. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";">The biggest lesson I've learned so far-- </span><i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: verdana;"><b>consistency is key.</b></i><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";"> I've lost momentum before because I didn't keep up with publishing or writing every day. Sometimes an article isn’t ready. Sometimes a blog post needs an extra bit of oomph.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="c3p8c-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Rewriting isn't fun but it's necessary. </span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="c3p8c-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">I needed to have another way to get creative on the days I wasn't ready to publish articles. Creating</span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";"> memes for Instagram has offered a fun way to keep the momentum going.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><span data-offset-key="bfbi5-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">I use quotes from my previous blog posts or a thought that I turn into pretty word art. This can inspire</span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";"> a longer article or blog post and keeps me motivated to write. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">Last week, I wrote an article about how <a href="https://theascent.pub/taking-care-of-my-future-self-cd9fecf6e63?source=friends_link&sk=49607c60810cc7fed61f671751e0450f" target="_blank">I'm taking care of my future self</a>. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";">Someone commented on how I seem dedicated to the childfree cause. </span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";">I am dedicated. I'm not talking about being childfree for the hell of it.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">The more I connect with others and hear their stories, the more I'm compelled to share my experiences. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="bt615-0-0" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">As with anything, sometimes you question why you make the effort. </span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); font-family: "verdana";">But Life gives you moments and signs of encouragement. Like when I get messages from people who've been inspired by something I've shared. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Up until now, my social media experience has been lackluster. The endless stream of baby announcements and family photos. I want to see something more. I want to see other people living different lives that speak to me. The childfree community offers this. So many are working on their fitness, traveling, writing, in committed relationships. Being loving aunts and uncles while enjoying their freedom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There are older childfree people online as well. These individuals share their knowledge about navigating the golden years without children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I intend on documenting my childfree life as a way to help the younger generations. My triumphs and struggles. The things I'm learning. I'm learning how glad I am that I realized I didn't want kids. Once I became an aunt at 23 I got to see a closeup of parenthood. I have friends with kids. I like playing the role of "fun adult" in kids lives. The daily life of a parent, however? No thank you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At some point, you become confident in your choice to be childfree. I'm 36. I don't look at this age as "OMG 40 is just around the corner". I've lived equal parts child and equal parts adult. Looking back at my 18-year-old self, despite leaving home to go to college, I was still a child. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know that parents like to talk about the joys of seeing their child grow up and flourish. It's not a guarantee that children will bring you an amount of joy that surpasses the pain. I've seen both sides. I've caused both sides as a child myself. It's one of the many reasons why I don't have an interest in being a parent. Not even a step parent. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>This also means that I don't engage in relationships with anyone who has or wants children.</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Another topic for another day.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";">For now, I shall blanket the internet with <a href="https://instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper" target="_blank">Bitchy Bookkeeper memes</a>. <br /><br />
Ha!<br /><br />
Have a lovely day. <br /><br />
Sincerely, </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><br />
LeNora Faye </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>Bitchy Bookkeeper </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>Almost an Author </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>Former Fantastic Violinist</i><br />
<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" style="font-family: "Times New Roman";" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKC1-NG_p-AsNSSKSCSFvXOK3LaSVSu9ZkqryVnHXDmNuKdkMUHxyb-U3upwmk8MNbUeEF5Gl9SACu_QTXjF2Hf61i-Qvvgo1biN5AHTbmJRWLI-YphOhyphenhyphensXq1RJmGziJlrhFR1FAtPJw/s1600/53909721_337462130293180_5152148519519256576_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1197" data-original-width="1080" height="400" id="id_6a72_256a_bc34_40e8" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKC1-NG_p-AsNSSKSCSFvXOK3LaSVSu9ZkqryVnHXDmNuKdkMUHxyb-U3upwmk8MNbUeEF5Gl9SACu_QTXjF2Hf61i-Qvvgo1biN5AHTbmJRWLI-YphOhyphenhyphensXq1RJmGziJlrhFR1FAtPJw/s400/53909721_337462130293180_5152148519519256576_o.jpg" style="height: auto; width: 360px;" width="360" /></a></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-74115335182833314832019-03-13T13:24:00.000-06:002020-03-16T17:40:57.532-06:00Inspirational Childfree Memes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span id="goog_780549379"></span><span id="goog_780549380"></span><img alt="" id="id_753e_4705_9c08_3228" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-eFeK4amlCak/XImC9SIflII/AAAAAAAABk8/rBVpM7OfypYA8p3u-sMsalUWqDQeaj-vwCHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Hello, Bitchy Readers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";"><i>Updated on June 21, 2019</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">The Bitchy Bookkeeper memes have evolved a lot since January. Here are the latest and greatest for your viewing pleasure. </span></div>
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<img alt="" id="id_ba1c_ca07_4862_2bba" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/ytQUTXLTLH-DbksaH7nJB-bowyDiWhHU7VIQpQiYkZc4Jus9U8UawLqjRdg" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<img alt="" id="id_94fb_dee5_8836_574" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/4KCqRJu722VFYYlycH4aLJ-jZo9833gR5buBNjADlN-zhuAI5OX-h7JK0Bk" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<img alt="" id="id_7019_d32d_3d9_4981" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/pszx-Mr57KqWAob6fQQOlsC1ZCSwwXwaoB_iE8jxUdr75w3qjNdzQlqWZrY" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<img alt="" id="id_1817_67fc_1563_a98b" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/peYYApGqi5oh4LPj61wzwjLUZnkc53JxZ0A9NyfYdFZ9HCqzpfkFgr3Lvgw" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
<img alt="" id="id_42d9_4091_3b48_af61" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/bjRmM9N-N4Eiqvt8km8pR19LCWe9qCKRV0wWtoahGhfz96k6sBxV4Fdk_as" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
<img alt="" id="id_8efa_4b3c_ab74_72e0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Lhpen0sHYSpyMKeMFoPuPBiqelCeXWfQBbzmjdy7JafCA4MvkDhVtX1F30" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /></div>
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<img alt="" id="id_673a_7a39_26d_603a" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/3SCgbJmogWIqVp_-MXNy9S7Y6caWgQIHCIjbqHdkDbj6UaIjof9qj0THoYc" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<img alt="" id="id_593c_427e_9e13_6a8" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/K32cVunHHQhE9u4jVpXtkQ1wpFrmokC48afMjqIrPk-Nei3ytO-8f8Rfn1g" style="display: block; height: auto; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 307px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper/">https://www.instagram.com/thebitchybookkeeper/</a> for all the lastest Bitchy memes! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Have a lovely day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Sincerely,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">LeNora Faye</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Former Fantastic Violinist </span></div>
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></div>
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LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949492314314839380.post-62653144994734949502019-03-07T15:49:00.000-07:002020-02-17T14:39:54.591-07:00The Official Childfree Memo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Good Day, Bitchy Readers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I wanted to share the following memo with you. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2F38nr7Ncsx04D2tm6yxBDLb3R5ucWWAPVo6lvFrUZlIjP-8R_zq-jr4pMfpVqn8B3UzpxIjwiK3h_ZGc_6ciJCKaGmMIQsBH7VH1DgTV_5_9yhlSqwPVe02d2-hWMiU0a-0Q-rK0g78/s1600/AUPB3487.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1552" data-original-width="1242" height="640" id="id_ab86_92a9_40d9_7ae" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2F38nr7Ncsx04D2tm6yxBDLb3R5ucWWAPVo6lvFrUZlIjP-8R_zq-jr4pMfpVqn8B3UzpxIjwiK3h_ZGc_6ciJCKaGmMIQsBH7VH1DgTV_5_9yhlSqwPVe02d2-hWMiU0a-0Q-rK0g78/s640/AUPB3487.JPG" style="display: block; height: auto; margin: 4px auto; width: 307px;" width="512" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have a lovely day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sincerely, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">LeNora Faye</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bitchy Bookkeeper</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Almost an Author</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Former Fantastic Violinist</span></div>
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<a href="https://blog.bitchybookkeeper.com/p/connect-with.html" target="_blank">Click for all the childfree links!</a></div>
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<br />LeNora Fayehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06268596353916432268noreply@blogger.com0