Today’s post is inspired by a question I find alarming and sad but is a valid concern for many.
What is life after 30 ( or life in general) if one decides not to have children?
As a 36-year-old woman who has chosen not to have children, I can tell you that there is beauty in living childfree. Beyond the travel, the sleep, the extra cash, there is a deep sense of purpose.
In my case, I share my daily life and inner thoughts as a childfree-by-choice person with others who struggle with this decision.
I am someone who doesn’t gain energy from other people and having to be a caregiver to little humans would not serve me well.
I’m an active aunt to two nephews and I like kids, but I love that someone else gives birth to and raises them.
As a childfree person you can
- play a key role in being a friend-an ally to a child.
- show them that being an adult is worthwhile.
- show them by living a full life and pursuing your interests.
Being childfree, I live a life that my young self dreamed about. I knew I didn’t want to be a mother. I made my choices with full intent on living well until the day I die. It’s not always easy but it is satisfying.
It takes imagination and focus, especially when society demands we all procreate. However, when people are honest, you will find out the real story about having children.
Forging a life as a non parent may seem empty to some, but I have the support of everyone who knows me. My own dreams and goals and life purpose require my attention and life brings me the support I need to be this person I get to be.
You do not have to be a parent. It is up to YOU to discover what makes you happy and fulfilled, not the diaper commercials you see on TV.
This holiday season was one for the books. I had a specific vision for it and I followed through with it. The end result has left me well rested with great memories and some very sparkly gifts.
Christmas morning, I woke up at 9. All was calm. I went downstairs, turned on my white tree and made a pot of coffee. I invited one person over for Xmas and we exchanged presents before a breakfast of oatmeal and banana bread.
As I had hosted a full family lunch and dinner the previous weekend, Christmas Day felt like a bonus. My lovely townhouse was clean and I had appetizers and baking premade.
We just ate and watched movies and laughed.
A fridge full of food, some new favorite things and well wishes from friends and family and best of all, a place to call home.
This time of year brings up a lot of emotion. Some people dread spending time with family and the enviable “So when are you going to have kids?”
I saw a lot of chatter among the childfree crowd on how to deal with this question. I used to get so annoyed when defending my position of wanting to remain childless. Now, I can’t wait for people to ask me.
Because I have a blog to promote.
But here’s the thing, since it no longer bothers me, no one asks me when I’m going to have kids.
I have childfree business cards and everything.
Perhaps that is the answer. Have something to promote. Then the questions will stop.
Random person/relative: “Hey so when are you going to have your own bundle of joy? Time is ticking ya know.”
You: “It’s funny you mention that, by the way, I have this awesome website you should check out. It answers all your questions about the state of my reproductive system and my sexual urges.”
Let me know how it goes. Ha!
All the best in the New Year.
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist
lenorafaye.com for more childfree entertainment.