Wednesday, January 9, 2019

JOMO: Joy Of Missing Out-Childfree Version

Greetings, Bitchy Readers.

Remember FOMO? (fear of missing out) 

I was doing some research this morning and came across an article that introduced me to JOMO-Joy of missing out. 

My list of JOMO is long. Based on my life choices, here are some of the things I'm happily missing out on.

  • Student loan debt
  • Credit card debt
  • Buying diapers
  • In-laws
  • Toxic female friends
  • Lack of sleep
  • Unfulfilling work
  • A messy house with toys everywhere
  • Having no time to shower or groom myself
  • Screaming kids
  • Angry teenagers
  • Adult children who need money and a place to live
  • Motherhood guilt
  • Motherhood resentment
  • Motherhood anxiety
  • Unrequited love
  • Wedding planning
  • Post-baby blues
  • Post wedding blues
  • Divorce
  • An unsatisfying life
  • No time to myself

The year I graduated from high school, I had five friends getting married that summer. The youngest was 16. 

The last 20 years feel like a steady stream of engagement photos. This is only eclipsed by the endless baby announcements and baby's first-year photos.    

When a person is happy and excited, they have a glow. A glimmering veil of joy that leaps out at you in the photos they share and when you interact with them in real life. 

You want that glow.

 I want that glow. 

"Gimme what you got!" We all plead with the happy person.

We begin to wonder if we should backpack through Asia. Or get married or have babies. Maybe settle down with a mortgage or two. 

The cabin at the lake and the house in the city. 

I rent a lovely townhouse in the city. I also have a friend who has a cabin at the lake which I get to use during the warm weather months when it sits unoccupied. It's quite awesome. I'm lucky. Perks without maintenance responsibility.

On the flip side, we don't get to see what really goes on after the glow has faded and reality sets in.

The return to work after two weeks in the Bahamas. The credit card bills. The adjustment to married life and the stress of parenthood.

The married with children (and parents in general) like to clap back and say 
"This is the greatest thing I have ever done in my life, so it's all worth it."

I've said this before, those are the ones you have to watch out for.

In my personal experience, the married with children who are the most content with their choices are the ones who speak honestly. 

They tell you that the magic of being married wears off and while they love their spouse, it's a lot of work. They love their kids and are happy they exist but they tell you that parenthood sucks more than most will let on. 

These are the people who don't post constantly on Facebook showing their #happyhearthomelife.  You might see a post once a month or so. 

I began posting a lot of scenic shots from my traveling and when I'm doing something I love to do. I use the photos to bring awareness to what I believe in. I rarely post a selfie.

 That's just my style on social media. 

People see what they want to see. A lot of times, my friends and family will say to me "so where are you off to next?"  

I remind them that yes, I travel a lot but I love to drive and when I get to my destination, I'm writing most of the time in my hotel suite or vacation rental. 

I like to feel fancy and it's fun to write with a view of the mountains.  

During the winter, I'm writing from home. My days are now research and reading, blogging and working on articles that will hopefully get noticed.
I love it, but some times I get really frustrated because I don't get results right away. 

However you choose to spend your life, there will be moments where you look over at the other person and think-

"Wow, their life looks better than mine."

Sometimes you're right. Their life is better than yours. That doesn't mean you have to rush out and copy what they do. Maybe they took the time to discover what truly makes them happy and went after it. 

Sometimes, your life is better and you just can't see it that way. 

It's hard to gauge how people feel about their own lives when they just tell you the good stuff. That being said, no one wants to hear someone complain all the time. 

Unless it's parents complaining about their children because that's when those of us who are deliciously childfree smile and say

Have a lovely day. 


LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist

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