Monday, January 7, 2019

Glenn Close sums up my entire existence.

Happy Monday, Bitchy Readers.

I was prepared to cheer wildly for Lady Gaga’s Best Actress win at the Golden Globe Awards but instead, I cheered wildly at Glenn Close’s acceptance speech for Best Actress in the film "The Wife". 

The film is about a woman with talent and dreams who spent her marriage diminishing herself so her husband could shine in the world, all the way to the Nobel Peace Prize. From the looks of the trailer, she finally has enough. 

I had never heard of this movie by the way. It's now on my list to watch. 

All my plans for a Bitchy Bookkeeper award show recap went out the window as I watched her acceptance speech. 

“I’m thinking of my mom, who really sublimated herself to my father her whole life, and in her eighties she said to me, ‘I feel I haven’t accomplished anything,’ and it was so not right.”

“I feel what I’ve learned from this whole experience is that women, we’re nurturers and that’s what’s expected of us. We have our children and husbands if we’re lucky enough and we have our partners, whoever, but we have to find personal fulfillment. We have to follow our dreams. We have to say, ‘I can do that,’ and ‘I should be allowed to do that.'”

— Glenn Close

She rightly received a standing ovation.

I was thinking of my own grandmothers who, without a doubt, spent their lives serving their husbands and home. They raised children, even other people’s children. 50th anniversaries were celebrated but behind the scenes, a different story from the romance novels. 

Glenn Close is 71 and has been a working actress for 45 years. Cruella de Vil!  She was married four times and has one child. She still adores what she does for a living and looks fantastic. 

I get asked if I worry about the future if I’m not having kids. 

No, I don't.

I feel very fortunate to be living a time and a place where I can exercise my right to live how I want. I have always committed myself to finding personal fulfillment and following my dreams, even if my dreams are different than everyone else’s.

I want to be 71 and still creating-music-literature-whatever else has captured my interest.  

In terms of relationships, I think about my "ideal" partnership. I think about how I want to feel, how I want the other person to feel, within our relationship.

I'm not shy in saying that I'd have to be the star-the more noticeable one. That doesn't mean the person I'm with has to be a mouse. I couldn't handle that. They have to be a star too, just a nicer person than I am and a little bit quieter because I can be loud. OK, I AM loud. 

I don't want a partnership where one of us has to diminish who we are to make the other person look better. There will be times where one has to support the other's success and that's totally fine. We have successes and failures in life and it would be nice to have someone there. 

In times of my great successes and failures, I've been on my own and that's quite natural for me so I don't look at having a partner as a necessity but I'm open minded. 

This expectation that I should be a nurturer because I was born in a woman's body-perhaps the way I nurture just looks a bit different. I like to encourage people who make an effort to help themselves. I don't baby people. I don't raise babies. 

I do get fulfillment in my home life. I live alone and have 3 bathrooms to myself. I only use 2, the other is for guests. It's always been my dream to live alone, and I have for years. This lovely townhouse I call home just happens to be much nicer than the apartments I've previously lived in. My dreams unfold into reality at home. 

For years, I found fulfillment in playing the violin and teaching. Then that shifted into wanting something more and I found fulfillment in having new experiences. Writing daily and publishing daily has given me a tremendous challenge to take my goals seriously-whether it's for this blog or the other sites I write on.

These last two years of my life, I have taken the opportunity to really live how I want to live. I haven't had a 9-5 job, I've traveled, I've spent time with family and friends, I've spent most of my time alone in beautiful places I love to visit. I've spent thousands of dollars on dental and travel. I needed a dental implant so I got a proper one screwed in. No cheaping out on teeth. 

When I look back at the time and resources I've used, I can't say I regret anything. I've been too busy enjoying my life and discovering new abilities and interests. I feel hopeful for my future and I feel supported by life, in general, to see me through everything. 

This is my wish, Bitchy Readers, for you and for men and women everywhere. It takes focus and effort but it is possible. 

Have a lovely day.


LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist

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