Thursday, November 1, 2018

Motherhood Isn’t Mandatory

Yesterday on Twitter, someone posted an article they wrote for the Huffington Post about being 40+ and childfree. 

I was excited to read it

As I continue my own writing about being childfree, I spend a lot of time reading up on the topic. Not stats and research, but personal accounts from people who share their experiences.

I initially assumed that I would be able to identify with anyone who doesn’t have children. 

That’s not the case. 

This particular article was written by a woman who has actually tried for a while to get pregnant naturally. When it didn’t happen, she gave up.

She writes about feeling guilty for not trying harder for a child.

No adopting. 

No fertility treatments. 

She felt like she could or should have done more to bring a child into this world but she didn’t feel like it. 

I skimmed over the rest of the article, I didn’t connect with it. But it made me think.

There are a lot of people who don’t have children but a good portion have actually wanted babies at some point in time. 

I’ve always made it clear up front that I have no interest in parenthood. I live in a country where abortions are legal and paid for. I know where the local clinic is in my city.

I am not shy about this. Mind you, I've never had a pregnancy scare. 

I think it sucks that people feel guilty about not wanting to bring a child into this world

I view parenthood as a distraction. Personally, having to focus on someone else’s needs when I have my own life path to follow just doesn’t work. 

My peers are having gender-reveal parties and baby showers and getting gifts for procreating. I don't get presents for helping with crowd control. 

I've never felt this was unfair-never occurred to me, really. 

Mostly because I see the years of work ahead of new parents and I figure what's a few baby blankets and toys that make noise when you step on them in the middle of the night?

Now, I've heard from childless individuals whose parents leave money to the offspring who have children instead of it being evenly distributed. 

" Since you don't have children, you don't need as much money." 
That, I disagree with but I haven't had that experience.

I’ve had a struggle with publishing original articles this week. I gave this blog a rest as I worked on some pieces for another publication.

Feeling sluggish and unmotivated, I took a few days to putter around my townhouse and journal and watch movies. I found some new recipes to try out for dinner, did some clothes shopping and danced to music. 

Oh and carved a pumpkin for Halloween. Then I got an email notifying me of my first royalty payment for some articles I had written last month. 

Money is a great motivator.

When I set my sights on something that I want, I go after it. This year, I haven’t held a 9-5. I took some courses, got a new vehicle, a nicer place to live and tickets to see Elton John in concert. 

That was my plan for 2018.

I also got more clear on the life I want for myself for the next 4 years as well as into my 40’s.

Guess what?

It doesn’t involve a relationship or children.

Oh my god God.

I am a weird woman. I am a woman in body, sure. But I don’t connect with the image of what a woman should be, according to our society. 

I have a small family-a brother, a dad, two nephews. I have fun hosting our family dinners. 

And then they leave and I get my house to myself. 

I view my intended long life as an opportunity to explore as many creative areas as I desire. And I desire a lot. 

I love business, I love having money. I love to express myself in a manner that entertains people.

That is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Not screaming children who need me to help them get ready for school. 

Although I usually wake up around the time the 9 AM school bell goes off across the park from where I live.

Screaming children galore. 


Have a lovely day.


LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper 
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist 

No comments:

Post a Comment