Thursday, July 2, 2020

What Happens in my Car: Childfree Road Trip

Happy Summer, Bitchy Readers!

Solo road trips are an essential part of my childfree lifestyle. 

Due to COVID, I wasn't sure if/when trips would be possible this year. Luckily, I'm now heading west through the Canadian Rockies en route to the lake cabin I like to use. This place holds special meaning because it's where I spent 10 weeks in 2018 developing this blog. 

As I was driving yesterday, I thought of how different my life feels compared to 2018. 

Back then, I was coming off a year of travel and learning how to write. I was also attending classes for my bookkeeping certification, fully intending to work as a bookkeeper.

Never intending to start a childfree lifestyle brand. 

As the summer wore on, I discovered how much I wanted to write about the childfree lifestyle. So I made the decision to focus my time and financial resources to this endeavor. 

A total gamble, very unsure as to what was going to happen (that feeling never goes away) but committed to the cause.

Fast forward to the present: I've made amazing connections within the childfree community, I've co-founded an incredible podcast/web series-Childfree Girls-and the dream of creating my own brand of journals came true with Childfree Journals.

I spend 12 hours a day, 7 days a week working on these ventures. Don't let me kid you..pun totally intended...this isn't a hobby. 

I'm not a life coach, I'm not an online community. I am an entertainer. I'm also a businesswoman. 

With the exception of Childfree Girls, I do everything myself. 

Hence, 12-hour days. 

Which brings me to the art of road tripping. 

Western Canada is home to magnificent mountain national parks. I engage in a lot of iPhone photography as the views are so majestic it ain't hard to capture that perfect photo. 

But what does LeNora really do on road trips?  

I'm petfree by choice. No critters allowed in the car. 

I don't enjoy the company of humans while driving.

I sing, loudly. 

I say: “holy fuck, this is so beautiful!" 

A lot. 

My driving experience is relaxing and calm until I get stuck behind a massive motorhome or semi-truck trying to climb one of the many steep hills along the Trans-Canada Highway. 

Driving requires you to focus. This highway can be unforgiving in certain spots. And it’s bear season. Gotta keep your eyes on the road. 

For this reason, I rarely think about business when I drive. It’s pretty light-hearted in my head so I thought it would be fun to take some silly photos of my car life and add some commentary. 

Drive-Thru with a view

Waiting to order food. Behind me, a dad with 3 kids walked the drive-thru to order. I saw them park their large 5th-wheel trailer along the road. Many fast-food restaurants are still takeout only, here. 

And yes, my steering wheel has rhinestones on it. 

No room for passengers

My backseat. I brought a little table to set up for podcasting, a yoga mat, a stack of journals, DVDs (no wifi for streaming at the cabin because it's in the middle of nowhere), and my towels, a pillow and a blanket in case of an emergency. I pack a lot of water just in case. 

I keep a lot of soft cloths in the car for wiping the interior down. I hate scuff marks. Also why I don’t allow pets in my car. Ugh! 

Slogan of my life

I was eating my breakfast sandwich when I saw the slogan on the truck: “Your food matters”.

Yes, it does! 

90% of the time, I stay in places with a full kitchen because I enjoy cooking. When passing through a place, I do settle for a mountain motel, which is another blog post unto itself. I made some interesting accommodation choices in my 20s. Oh boy. 

I can be frugal but when it comes to sleep, I want to feel luxurious, even on a budget. So I find places that have the nicest-looking beds for whatever my price range is at the time. Motels in tourist areas have come a long way. 

You say tomato, I say green apple

The week before any road trip, I eat whatever food is left in my house. This time, it was a lot of spaghetti and salmon. It’s always good to pack food in case you get stranded. Easy-to-open stuff. I mean, I stick to main roads, I only travel in the daytime, and I have a great roadside assistance plan. But shit can happen. 

Speaking of which, I always pack TP. Luckily, most public rest stops are open. I know all the best ones with the nicest toilets. That is important to me! 

I hate food crumbs

I detailed the car before I left, so even I’m not allowed to eat inside my ride. I was eating an A&W bacon & egger while drinking McDonald’s coffee from earlier that morning while gazing at the McDonald’s across the highway. 

McDonald’s has the best coffee, IMO. I begin every road trip with a large w/3 cream. I don’t eat much while driving. Three hours in, I will get breakfast and then snack on trail mix throughout the day. 

I do something else while I drive though, which may surprise you. 

I smoke cigarettes. It’s the only time I ever smoke. It’s a summer road trip indulgence I really enjoy. 

Gratuitous boob shot 

My reflection in the car window. Which just shows how big my boobs are. Certainly did not get them from my mother. Ha! That sounds like they’re fake. They aren’t. Very real. 

Pandemic packing

I now pack masks & hand sanitizer. I always stored baby wipes in my driver's side door anyway. And a cold thermos of ice water. Easy to reach while I drive. 

Sorry, the passenger seat is occupied 

I can’t possibly take you with me on road trips because I need the seat for my stuff. The thought of road tripping with children makes my ear canals close. 

I did take my 2 nephews on a weekend trip to West Edmonton Mall once but that was a 3-hour drive and because I’m “auntie”, they behaved. I was still exhausted after. Kids require a lot of energy. I made the right decision for myself to not have them.

Parking job

I know how to park my car, I swear. This is such a stunning part of the country. 360 degrees of mountains. I pulled over at a visitor center off the highway. Then I noticed my parking job. Oh well. There was no one around to judge me.

                     The Bitchy Bookkeeper Journal Vol 1

That’s the trip so far, Bitchy Readers. Hope you enjoy some downtime wherever you are. 

LeNora Faye
Co-host of Childfree Girls