3 Tips For Childfree Living

Hey there, Bitchy Readers!

*Morgan Freeman’s voice*  “Imagine a life where your dreams & goals get top billing. A life that satisfies you on a deeper level. And even though people question your choice and diaper commercials annoy you, you feel at peace.”

Before I was a 36 yr old confidently-childfree woman, I was an 18 yr old girl who wasn't interested in motherhood. 

Ever. 

But I didn't yet know that I had a choice. 

Obsessed with my violin, I had a car, an apartment & freedom. 

But in the back of my mind, I could hear all the clichés:

"You haven't met the right man yet!" 

"You'll change your mind about motherhood once you have your first kid"

"Be fruitful and multiply"

"Graduate, go to university, get married, have babies, be a MOM. That's what everybody does."

So what's a girl to do?

childfree journal Vol 1

Tip #1 Focus on your freedom. 

Here's the thing... the more content you are, the happier you are, the better choices you make. 

But when life sucks and it's a struggle to slog from one day to the next, you have to find something that lifts your spirits.

And I don't mean heroin. 

Maybe it's cuddling your pet.

In those early days of adulthood when I didn't have a lot of money and wifi wasn't a thing, I'd take my journal or a book and go sit in the park across from my basement apartment.   

I’d write down all that bothered me. All that I hoped for. All that made me proud at that moment. 

My sole focus was on making a name for myself as a local performer and violin teacher. I was also working at a part-time insurance job.

My love for being independent carried me through my tumultuous 20s. 

Even when I found myself living with roommates and working at a job that wasn't creatively fulfilling. 

I realized it was temporary and so I kept aiming higher.

I made the most out of what I had. This led to better opportunities. 

Like co-creating the Childfree Girls web-series!

                                       A shot from our hilarious Halloween episode!

Whatever age & stage of life you are at, there will be some form of freedom that you have right now that you wouldn't have if you had kids.

There is also great freedom in knowing you don't want kids. The time & energy needed to search for a baby daddy/mama can be used on building your dream life. 

Tip #2   Be comfortable on your own.

Let’s face it, most of us don’t have many childfree friends, IRL.

Some of my close friends don’t have kids but consider them a future possibility. 

I’m a busy girl and I’m friends with busy, successful people.

I’ve known most of them since childhood. Over the years, we’ve all moved to different cities, created our own lives and somehow stayed in touch. 

Since I prefer to travel solo and don’t enjoy group activities, I love that my friends are scattered around. 

I don’t feel obligated to spend my weekends going out. 

It’s OK to say “no” and do your thing. Sometimes, circumstances force you to. 

Especially when your best friend gets pregnant and going out for chicken wings & beer on Wednesday nites is no longer an option.

It turns out, there is a super-cool person who is dying to be your best friend. 

You!

Seriously. 

Get to know this person. Hell, self-help books talk about falling in love with yourself...why not?

All my life I’ve been told I’m loud and talk a lot. 

Both are true. 

But instead of feeling bad about it, I realize this is a gift for me to use.

Pair this with my love for being childfree and LOOK OUT society! 

I get to spend my days talking about this way of life. And I’m making a lot of new friends at the same time.

When you are comfortable being on your own, you stop placing expectations on people to make you happy.

When you are comfortable on your own, you don't sit around wishing for someone to whisk you away. You book your own ticket to paradise. 

Tip #3 - Share your story with the childfree community. 

OK, so you’re not a loudmouth like I am. You don’t want to tell the world, yet, that you don’t want kids.

Or,

maybe you’re ready to shout from the rooftops.

Sharing your decision to not have kids, whether it be to one person or 1000, is powerful. 

My close family and friends have known for years that I'm not having kids. But for me, that conversation wasn't enough.

I wanted... needed to see more stories about others who chose not to have kids. 

There had to be someone out there who didn't want to become a parent and DIDN'T become a parent.

Sometimes you have to make the first move. 

I started blogging to no one. 

The more I wrote, the more I sought out other childfree people online.

Facebook-not my fave but it helped build my blog audience.

Instagram—a happier experience and my fave way to connect with the childfree community.

Twitter—hit & miss but that’s how I met one of my Childfree Girls co-hosts.

You never know what opportunities will come your way as you speak out about your childfree journey.

If being public isn’t your jam...write to yourself. 

Childfree Journals are perfect for that. No judgement and they are entertaining AF!

There is one final thing I’d like to mention.

COMPOUND EFFORT.

You don’t have to come out the gate with a perfectly tailored social media page or a polished podcast. 

Start small. Start simple. It’s going to take a minute to find your style. I’m constantly evolving mine. 

But all the little things add up. 

18 months go by and you realize you have a decent foundation. 

And then, onwards & upwards. With a minor crash here and there. 

I’m cheering you on! 

Have a lovely day.

Sincerely,

LeNora Faye

Bitchy Bookkeeper 

Actually an Author

Former Fantastic Violinist 

childfreejournals.com

info at lenorafaye dot com

My Daily Childfree Life

Hi there, Bitchy Readers.

I know my blog has been sparse this summer. Unlike Summer of 2018 where all I did was write from a lake cabin. 

That’s the great thing about making progress on your goals. New opportunities show up just as you’re about to pack a suitcase.

As a lot of you know, I stayed in the city to work round the clock on some awesome childfree projects. 

The journals are now selling in 14 countries on all Amazon marketplaces. In Japan, one of the volumes is listed under the Occult section. Not sure why...

So now, another goal is to be the top-selling author of the Occult section on Amazon Japan. 

Can we make this happen?!!?! 

Ha!

Childfree Journals website


I’ve also been making peace with how I look on webcam. 

Co-hosting the Childfree Girls web-series is a lot of fun. I’m not nearly the nervous wreck about it as we've now shot 5 episodes.  

I do take a long time to do my hair and makeup, however.

And then with the lighting in my office, it barely makes a difference. Except I can tell I’m wearing mascara. 

I’m quite vain. 

Everything Childfree Girls

Passion, not babies, gets me out of bed

In previous lifetimes, waking up at 6 in the morning was not going to happen. I'd stay up until 3 practicing my violin. 

I now approach my day with a new strategy. 

You see, I'm excited to wake up each morning. Because I'm building something that I believe in.

Don't get me wrong, I have days where I'd rather chill in front of the TV and do nothing. 

But the thought of creating something that contributes to the childfree community excites me more than sleeping in does. 

I'm super new to brand building and it's not for the faint of heart. For me, this is no longer a side hustle. I don't think it ever was a side hustle. I only began this a year ago. 

I spend 18 hours a day working on The Bitchy Bookkeeper, which includes Childfree Journals & Childfree Girls. 

How the hell do you do that?!?

I made the decision to invest my own money into this venture. No backers, no crowdfunding. I haven't sunk a lot of money into this. Probably $1000 at most.

I've learned how to do most everything myself to save costs and because I love learning how to bring my vision to life. 

I used the money I had to pay my rent so I could dedicate my time solely to this venture.

This is a scary thing to do when you have no guarantees. Way out of my comfort zone. 

But it feels right, you know?

I break my day into 4 parts. 

6AM-NOON - Social media content for 12 accounts. Yes, 12!  I also listen to 2 or 3 motivational business podcasts, do some journaling + 30 minutes of stretching/basic bad yoga and make coffee. 

NOON-6PM - Personal errands, writing, meetings/recording with my Childfree Girls co-hosts. And brunch. 

6PM-MIDNIGHT - Brainstorming ideas, editing articles & captions for the next day’s digital content. Oh, and I usually make a nice supper. Sometimes I watch a movie if I need to turn my brain off. 

The remaining six hours, I sleep.

7 days a week. 

I live in a big city and don't really socialize. I'm in a phase where I love staying home and creating stuff so I rarely notice it's the weekend. 

I keep my house tidy. As I live alone and am petfree this is easy enough to do. 

On the days when I record with Childfree Girls, my bedroom, closet & ensuite are a mess. Clothes, makeup, hair products galore. 

I love mascara and lip gloss, that's usually adequate for my makeup routine. But since I'm vain and on camera, I do everything except contour. I have no patience for that. 

My biggest thing is that I have super oily, intolerant skin so I pile on the shine-control powder.

Then I wash my face with the only cleanser my dermatologist will allow me to use. 

Every room in my house has note pads, journals, pens & pencils. I brainstorm all the time. 

I cannot think of another time in my life where I've felt so creatively inspired and fulfilled. OK, that is not true. My days as a violin teacher and performer had me feeling this way quite often. 

However, I enjoy the process of creating so much more now. In my teens and 20s, I was so focused on the future, I rarely took a minute to enjoy the process. 

In my 30s, I'm as hungry as ever to achieve but I also enjoy my daily life. I love this decade of my life more than the previous two.  

Probably because I live alone in a lovely townhouse with 3 bathrooms.

That's always been my dream. Ha!

Staying motivated on low-energy days.

Yesterday, for example, was a low-energy day for me. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep until noon. 

I manage social media for Childfree Girls. We have our daily group message meetings to brainstorm, which usually begin at 3:30 AM my time. 

We all live in different countries & time zones. 

Right now, the other co-hosts are traveling, so I'm holding down the fort. I could have slept in but I made the commitment to post on social every morning. 

I've been so consistent with it now for months that I've formed a habit. Muscle memory takes over on the days where I'm feeling less than inspired. 

I really appreciated that habit yesterday. I did everything from my bed. For all 12 accounts. 

I slogged through my day, replying to messages, working on ideas and running errands. 

I went to visit a friend to get a hug because I really needed one.  I had a nice supper, watched a movie and was in bed by midnight. 

Today... I'm back on the energy wagon. With results from the previous day's work. 

I'm learning to appreciate the lessons of those low energy days. I used to get so stressed out about them. 

But now, I look around my house, grateful that I've made this space creative and non-judgemental. I'm allowed to feel whatever I need to feel. And then move on with my day. 

It takes effort to form strong habits that help you with your goals. 

Each day I add to what I've started. Even when I don't think what I have to say will help anyone. 

I've had so much doubt with this blog, even as I write this. But I always ask myself 

" Six months from now, how will my actions today help this brand?"

It's going to take 6 months to see results for the journals. And for the web series. 

I see how things have progressed with this blog in 12 months. That is what keeps me motivated. 

The messages I get from other women on social media who resonate with some of the content I share: a huge motivator. 

I have no idea who is going to see what I post. 

You start with what you have from where you are. Whatever you need to help you grow will show up. 

July 2018, I had an idea and went for it. I knew a fraction of what I know now. And in a year from now, I'll know so much more than I know now. 

I'll look at this post on Sept 12, 2020, and think..

"wow, I knew nothing."

I hope this post inspires you to take the leap. Get started on your idea. You don't have to know everything. 

Clarity happens over time. 

I tweak my website once a week at least. My social media is always evolving. 

When you get discouraged, just think of the difference a year makes. Little things add up. Ok, I could add 17 more cliches. You get the idea. Just go do it. 


Have a lovely day. 


Sincerely,

LeNora Faye
The Bitchy Bookkeeper
Actually an Author

Email: 

info at lenorafaye dot com 

childfreejournals.com

Childfree Girls Web Series

The Bitchy Bookkeeper Instagram

Happy International Childfree Day

Good Day, Bitchy Readers!

Happy International Childfree Day!  (August 1)

Did you know this was an actual day? This is relatively new info to me as well. 

It seems only fitting that I make the following two announcements. If you follow me on social media, they will come as no surprise. 

THE BITCHY BOOKKEEPER JOURNALS    

 (On Instagram @childfreejournals)

A new series of paperback journals designed for the childfree community. Volume 1 & 2 now available on most Amazon marketplaces. 

Just type The Bitchy Bookkeeper into the search bar. Be sure to select your country's Amazon page for best shipping rates. 

The link above takes you to my website where you can see more details about the journal. Amazon gives you a sneak peek inside as well. 

I've been journaling for 24 years now and own 21 journals. In the back of my mind, I always loved the idea of creating my own brand of journals but it seemed like a pipedream. 

June 23rd- I felt a bolt of inspiration. I didn't tell anyone. I was going to see if creating a childfree-themed journal was possible. 

3 weeks later, I had a proof copy in my hands. 

July 21st- Journal # 1 became available on Amazon and started selling. Journal 2 was published a few days later. 

August 1- I've had a handful of messages from women who are loving their new journals!

Journal # 3 is in production right now. 

Covers 1 & 2 make me laugh. The invoice fine print!!

Volume 2-dedicated to all the childfree women I’ve met in real life and online. 


Interior

139 lined pages with watermark, for your thoughts, rants, and dreams. 

11 pages with unique quotes about being childfree. Each volume has a different set of quotes. 

I share 11 personal stories to entertain you throughout the journal as well. Each volume as different stories.

CHILDFREE GIRLS

A new vlog for the childfree community. The first episode airs on YouTube August 11th.

CHILDFREE GIRLS YouTube  —Episodes will be posted as of Aug 11th.

Featuring:

Isabel (Colombia) 

Kristen (USA)

LeNora (Canada)

All of this has been the result of 18 hour-days for the month of July. And a year’s worth of little things that seemed questionable at the time.

So, keep dreaming big, Bitchy Readers. Don’t discount the small steps. It will make sense later why you even bothered.

Have a lovely day.

LeNora Faye

Bitchy Bookkeeper 

Actually an Author (Yay I can say this now!)

Former Fantastic Violinist 

All the childfree links!

The Bitchy Bookkeeper Turns 1!

Good day, Bitchy Readers!

It has been a year since I began writing about being childfree. I created this blog as a way for me to speak freely about my decision. 

My original idea was to write about three topics--money, celebrities, and the childfree lifestyle. 

I have this printed on the back of my business card. Handy for when someone asks me if I plan on having children. 

I still discuss money and celebrities from time to time. 

However, writing about being childfree-by-choice has opened up a new level of living, for me.

Before creating The Bitchy Bookkeeper, I felt like an outsider when socializing. 

(My small social circle aside.) ⇐That's a tongue twister. 

Most of the women I know are mothers or have the desire to become mothers, eventually.

Scores of mommy-blogs and parenting lifestyle tips flood my social media feeds. 

Someone needs to create an algorithm for the childfree!

Instagram collab with author Kristen Tsetsi

I've spent 12 months exploring ways to create relevant childfree content. I've funded this myself, which is an incredibly scary thing.


Every day, I ask the Universe....

"umm.. is there anything else I should be doing? Because it looks like I'm sitting around doing arts and crafts all day."

In reality, I'm having fun with it. The bills are paid, so who cares if I don't have a "normal" job. I spent 12 years as a self-employed violin instructor and performer. No one expects me to have a normal job.


I worked for 6 years as an office manager and my work circumstances weren't normal either.

Bottom line-I don't do normal.

My feelings about not having/raising children have grown into a passion for connecting with other like-minded women.

It's no secret that I love my alone time. I live alone. I travel alone. I do most of my activities alone.

I embrace my solitude. I rarely go out of my way to seek new friends. 

I've gotten to know other CF women who are creating products and services designed for the childfree community. (I’ll share three of my favorite discoveries in a moment.)

It's easy to think " Oh, they're my competition" but that is not the case.

We all have our individual style and approach to sharing our message. I find value in what they share. Hopefully, some of them find value in what I share. 

We come from different parts of the world. Being a childfree woman in Canada isn't the same as being a childfree woman in the United States. 

For example-

Women have access to free basic health care, including abortions, here in Canada. I can go visit my doctor without worrying about the cost. I took this for granted until I learned what some other women are dealing with.

My point is that we each have stories of value to offer the childfree community. This helps spur on appropriate action for change. 

Banff National Park, Alberta Canada

The Bitchy Bookkeeper is a brand that supports the childfree & pro-choice communities.

Its purpose is to entertain and inspire. 

I keep my website and blog free of ads and pop-ups. I appreciate the need to monetize. As a woman who loves having her own money, I’m all for generating income.

But, I also want my Bitchy Readers to keep coming back. 

This summer I will be introducing the first Bitchy-Bookkeeper-brand product. It’s being tested out first in real life because it’s an actual physical product. 

This will be the first item for sale that results in The Bitchy Bookkeeper earning cash money.

From time to time I will also mention other childfree products & services.

Not as a way to generate income for me, but as a way to support other childfree women who are creating things of a certain quality.

By that, I mean the item resonates with me and aligns with The Bitchy Bookkeeper's intent to inspire. 

I'm not going to promote every book, course, podcast, t-shirt, etc.

I make my email address public and any legit request I get, I look into. I take the time to become familiar with the content and creator.

If I am moved by it, I'll respond.

If not, it goes into a folder for later. I'm busy and sometimes I’m not in the right mood.

I have two favorites that I wish to share with you now.

 ( In no particular order. Click on the titles to link you to the websites. )

The Age of The Child-- A novel by Kristen Tsetsi. 

My Instagram post.

I received a copy of this book and it grabbed my attention. 

The author-Kristen has crafted a story from the childfree perspective. The main character doesn't change her mind about motherhood after she becomes pregnant in a time where birth control is banned. Abortions are illegal. Miscarriages are investigated. It may be fiction but it sure sounds real, right?


The reader gets to see what happens to children born during such a time. It's the details, the dark humor, that I love best about this book.

It will kick you in the gut!  

I contacted Kristen to share with her how I felt about the story and the fate of the characters. We've since begun a fun collaboration on Instagram. 

She sends me questions about being childfree and I post my answers in an artistic screenshot. I posted one earlier in this blog. In case you missed it. 

The Honest Uproar-podcast for the modern, childfree woman. 

" Modern, childfree women share their life stories and discuss important topics for the kidfree community."

Isabel-Founder & Firebrand (a term I've just discovered⬌a person who is passionate about a particular cause, typically inciting change and taking radical action.)

I received an email asking if I'd be interested in being interviewed on The Honest Uproar podcast. I found it on Spotify and loved the vibe of the introductory episode. 

I ended up listening to all of them.  

Isabel interviews CF women from around the world. She has a warm interview style and each woman speaks so openly about their life. As I listened, I felt this awesome sense of connection. Even with diverse life circumstances, I could identify with each woman, including Isabel. 

Hearing how they navigate through life as CF women was enlightening. 

I'll post a link to my interview when it airs. Better yet, you can subscribe to the podcast and listen to all the awesome childfree women!

               
                                           *************

There you have it, Bitchy Readers. CF creations that resonate deeply with me. 

It's hard to pinpoint why certain things/people click with you and why certain things/people don't. Sometimes you get an inner nudge to check something out or contact a person. 

Ideas form and collaborations begin. Nothing forced, just natural. It's the greatest. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported The Bitchy Bookkeeper in any capacity over these past 12 months. 

Have a lovely day!


Sincerely, 

LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper (neither of these things, but I know how to be, haha)
Almost an Author  (getting closer now!)
Former Fantastic Violinist (practicing again)

email: info@lenorafaye.com

Click For all the links!

When Oprah Speaks

Hello, Bitchy Readers.

Last night I sat in a packed arena listening to Oprah Winfrey speak as only Oprah Winfrey can. 

My brother and I had tickets for the nosebleed section but when we arrived early, we got upgraded to floor seats. 

"You get a free upgrade and YOU get a free upgrade!"

We wandered around the club level for a while before making our way onto the floor.  

It was a party atmosphere.

A lot of women with wine dancing to Beyoncé in the aisles. 

I don't drink but I'm sure I got drunk off the alcohol fumes permeating the air. 

The floor seats are so close together you can't help but get to know your neighbors. Lucky for me I sat beside a cute couple. We got to chatting about where we grew up and certain life experiences we've faced. 

For me, it was a nice reminder that every single human being has a story. The details may be different, but the underlying feelings are the same. 

You can bond with a stranger over a shared feeling. 

(I took a day trip on Monday to visit these Japanese Gardens 2 hours south from where I live.)

The entire stadium rose to greet Oprah when she walked out on stage. She wore a beautiful floor-length white dress. She looked amazing. 

We were sitting in row 16 so I could actually see her. 

To me, the atmosphere was calm and cozy, despite 18,000 people in attendance.

Oprah doesn't need flash and hype. She's very grounded and seems approachable. 

Even when sharing a story about how she once told the pilot to turn the plane around mid-flight so she could visit her dying mother. 

 "You can do that when you own the plane" she said, to laughter. 

Oprah has a gift for weaving her poor beginnings into her enormous success without making you feel less than. You can tell she appreciates everything she has. 

My favourite story she shared involved her b/f Stedman. 

He was complaining to her that someone had called him "Oprah Winfrey's Boyfriend" instead of his actual name, Stedman Graham.

She told the audience that she let him calm down for a while before reminding him that yes, she IS Oprah Winfrey and yes, he IS her boyfriend.  


She told him that she was not going to shine less just so that he could shine more. 


APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE


She told us that she spoke from a place of love and not fear which made all the difference in that conversation. 


I've only had one long-term relationship and I remember the days when I spoke from a place of fear. I hated that feeling. 

Writing helps me to deal with feelings. To explore and express how I feel.  

Oprah is an inspirational figure to me. 

Not because she isn't a mother, but because she was inspired to create a platform where she can be herself. 

Have you ever gotten asked this question:

" What's the point of your life if you aren't married and don't have kids?"

I saw that question a few days ago, again, on social media. It can feel like a personal attack if you aren’t ready for it. 

The title of Oprah's speaking tour is called "Your Path Made Clear", after her new book which is going to benefit The Oprah Winfrey Boys & Girls Club in Mississippi where she's from. 

I just Googled the facility and it's impressive. 

Anyway, having a clear path for your life. 

Knowing what you want to do and what it is you came here to do. 

Imagine. 

I grew up religious so my "path" was to follow the bible exactly as it was "written" and don't question a thing. 

That didn't happen. 

When I was 12, after years of music lessons ( piano and violin), I decided I was going to grow up to be a professional violinist and teacher. That's as far as I could see my life. 

I did have a 10-year career and then I felt I had hit the ceiling. ( I began teaching full-time at 15.)

At 26, my path became very muddy. I had no idea where I was going. 

I'd say it has taken another 10 years to get to where I am now, seeing another path for myself. 

And it's actually merging everything I've wanted to do since I was a child. 

Entertain people. Via music, public speaking, or writing. 

As I sat in the audience watching Oprah--a 65-year-old woman who has created such an empire, I thought how cool it is to witness someone doing what they love. 

Her energy filled the stadium. 

I love my alone time. My solo travels. Singing to myself in my vehicle as I cruise the mountain roads. Even cooking dinner in my kitchen. Those moments fill me up. 

And then I have so much energy to give out. 

But I don't want to give it out at random. I don't want to give my energy away to a societal expectation like being a mother. 

I want to give it to people who are looking to feel better about life. I want everyone in the world to feel like life is worth living. That you don't have to do the same thing that has been done. 


As your life progresses you begin to understand its deeper meaning. If you ignore it, life gets really hard until it forces you to stop and take a look at yourself. 

I know this because it has happened to me. 


I love to talk and share life experiences. I'm an open book, you can ask me anything. I'm discovering the power of sharing because it turns out, most of us have common feelings about the same things. And then you don't feel like you're alone. 

Like not wanting to have kids. 

Isn't it a great feeling when you meet someone else who doesn't want kids? 

Or when you realize that visiting your hometown makes you feel all those icky feelings you had as a teenager. 

We can surround ourselves with dozens of people. Have a massive social group and yet no one really knows how you feel inside about the smallest of things. 


Those small things seem insignificant but they aren't. Chances are, most people feel the same way but no one ever says anything about it. The next time you meet a stranger, mention something in passing about how you feel if you're making small talk. You may find some common ground. 



Oprah acknowledges that she is still on her journey and learning more about her place in this world.

She also says that life begins at 50. Which is great to know because I'm turning 37 in December and I don't worry about my age at all. 

I don't wish to trade places with anyone else. I am me. I'm discovering all that I can do and I'm willing to put myself out there in a manner that suits me. 

Somedays it definitely feels like a gamble--that maybe I should give up and take a safer route but that would mean betraying myself. 


Another good point that Oprah made last night. Standing up for yourself, in all situations. 

So, bringing this back around to choosing to remain childfree.

 I, LeNora Faye, hereby declare that I shall remain childfree-by-choice as this is the path that I've been called to. I have a lot to offer this world, even if I can't yet put it into words. I am valuable and feel at peace with where I'm at.


And I wish this for you, dear Bitchy Readers, to feel valued and at peace with where you are in life. It's always changing. 


Have a lovely day. 


Sincerely, 

LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist (although I'm starting to practice again)

Click for all the childfree links!