Saturday, June 6, 2020

The Token Black Guy

Dear Bitchy Readers. 

For this post, I am giving the space to my brother, to amplify his biracial voice. He is an ally to the childfree community and I know his words will be heard here. 

As a half-black, half-white Canadian man, what are you feeling in this moment?

It has been a very emotional week for me.  I feel angry. I feel sadness. I feel frustrated. 
However, I also feel hopeful. 
The anger I feel comes from the years and years of seeing the oppression of the Black community via the media.  Hearing stories shared from other Black work colleagues, friends, and family members who have personally dealt with racism directed at them.

The anger also comes from my personal experiences over the years to which I’ve tried to forget. But those experiences have made an impact on my life.  

One example was as a teen when people realized I was half-Black, I was labeled the token Black guy in my group of friends.  Some nicknames my friends used on me were:

“Black slave"


 "Porch monkey”

What I never told my friends was that these  names/labels actually hurt.  Not only me but disrespected my family and my heritage. 
But I was too afraid to speak up at that point for fear of not fitting in.

This was my failure. 

The sadness I feel comes from hearing the stories of countless families torn apart by racial-induced violence. Countless children losing their fathers and mothers. Even siblings. Countless parents who have lost their children.   
All because of wrongful persecution and police violence based on skin color and race. 
Seeing and feeling the pain from these stories.
Knowing that members of my family, past and present have also been affected by this.  

The frustration I feel comes from the question WHY? 

Why is this still happening?

In this day and age. Why is color & race still an issue? 

Why are so many people ignorant of the fact that this still happens?  

Why aren’t our leaders, whose sole purpose is to take care of and protect the people, not doing so?  

The people, as in, not a select few but ALL!

Taking a knee isn’t enough.

What are you doing about it?

I feel hopeful as maybe this time; things will finally start to change.  People are starting to wake up. People are starting to speak out.  People are sharing their stories.  People are standing up for each other. People are educating themselves.  

This is a start.  

The persecutions, the stereotypes, the oppression, the treatment, the disrespect, the ignorance—all needs to end!



Thank you, Evan, for speaking up. Biracial & Mixed-race voices often get left out because we aren’t “black enough”. This is colorism. Growing up in Western Canada, it’s easy to assume this issue is a USA problem. It’s not. 

Offhanded comments, “it’s just a joke” , “I don’t mean it”—are microaggressions. 

Regardless of what color or race we are, the more mindful we become of our own words and actions, the better this world will be. 

Chat soon, 

LeNora Faye
The Bitchy Bookkeeper
Author of Childfree Journals
Co-host of Childfree Girls

I share my experience 

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