Hello, Bitchy Readers!
I woke up so happy this morning. Yesterday, I had an IUD installed in my uterus. It was recommended to me by my two doctors after I had been complaining about my periods.
I never took birth control pills, even though I’ve had horrible periods since I was 10 years old. I just didn’t like the idea of ingesting hormones.
Little did I know that I had a genetic hormone disorder this whole time.
My male partners had vasectomies or used condoms, or you know, we just didn’t have the kind of sex that can get me pregnant.
Last fall, after a second visit to my specialist, she recommended an IUD to help with heavy bleeding. I got some opinions from female friends, did some research and thought about it over the holidays.
I had a successful dental implant so I already had one foreign object in my body. But a hormone-releasing IUD?
I decided to go ahead with it. I didn’t feel conflicted about it, I knew I had to try something for my periods and the fact that it offers effective long term birth control was also appealing.
No STD protection, mind you. Guys still have to wrap it up.
Anyway, so they do a pregnancy test first...not pregnant...gee whiz.... haha.
The insertion process hurt. And this was after consuming several extra-strength Advil.
If felt like someone was pinching my insides.
It took less than 5 minutes, I told the doctor all about the Academy Awards as a way to distract myself.
“All done,” she said as she removed all the tools from my vagina.
I felt immediate relief as I got dressed. The cramping began as I got into the car. My friend drove me home and I curled up on my oversized ottoman in my sunny living room window, clutching a pillow.
The first six hours were fine, just napped on the couch and did some writing.
And then, the IUD cramps began. From navel to kneecaps. At one point I was pacing in circles in my living room. I laid on the floor for a while, on my back with my feet in the air.
Happy baby pose. Minus the happy and the baby.
I didn’t have a heating pad so I covered myself in heavy blankets. I eventually fell asleep.
Luckily, I had a great sleep and I woke up feeling happy.
As in ecstatic. As in-
“I feel so in control of my body and my desire to remain childfree!”
Now that is worth a few hours of cramping.
Have a lovely day.
Sincerely,
LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist
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