Wednesday, July 25, 2018

The art of doing nothing.


                 Too lazy to make breakfast 


First world problems. I enjoy living in a time and place where I have access to anything and everything that I could possibly want.

I’ve always thrown myself into my work, making it my identity, determined to feel successful. 

I gave it top priority, even over relationships.

It got to the point where I had the money but no time for anything. I wasn’t doing much creatively, but I was learning invaluable lessons about business. 

In the back of my mind, something was stirring.  I could feel the urge to pursue my own creative path again. 

Life was listening and the opportunity arose for me to take some serious time off.

I went from 50 to 0-hours a week.

And I had no idea what to do with myself.

I booked a variety of trips and there were other plans in place. My finances were in order. 

I had no worries. 

I just wasn’t prepared emotionally to do nothing. 

I’d wake up and do a mental checklist of all the things I’d have to do at work. 
“Who do I get to yell at today?”

I was so used to working on Saturdays that it was weeks before I remembered to delete that horrible alarm.

6 AM....”oh for fuck’s sake!”

Doing nothing does not come naturally to me.

I have a habit of planning out the next week before I’ve even begun the current week. 

I’ll be eating supper and planning out breakfast. 

I think my compulsion for planning came about when I discovered that it made adults think I was responsible and mature. 

That means a lot to a 10-year-old. 

         Currently having a lazy week in the sun.

I will admit that I did worry about something...

What do I tell people when they ask me what I do?

What a stupid way of greeting people. 

Hi, I’m so and so..so...what do you do?

I got a handle on that real quick. 

The conversation goes something like this..

So, you married?”

“No”

“Any kids?”

“No”

“ What do you do for a living?”

“Nothing”

I love it! 

If people are curious, they ask questions and I tell them whatever they wish to know. Some people, however, have no idea what to say next.

Now, remember, I’m not raising a family, I have no debt, I have money and I am writing a book so I am not floating aimlessly around this planet. 

But it’s fun to mess with people a bit. Depends on what kind of mood I’m in.

Outwardly appearing ambitious was a big thing for me in my 20s. It was my way of impressing people. I had my shit together. 
I was exhausted all the time but I had my shit together.


I got to tell people that I was a Violinist, that I was a teacher. 

My most recent identity, I got to tell people I was an office manager for a bakery. 

Not as glamorous as a Violinist but I loved my work. That job brought me to where I am today.

So, over the course of my year off, I learned to relax.  I walked in nature. I started doing yoga. 

I discovered new music—different genres like electro swing and new bands like Fleetwood Mac. 😃

I thought a lot about what matters to me, how I want to spend my life.

I got to visit family members. I spent a lot of time with my nephews. 

I stayed for 3 days with my uncle last August and then he passed away in this past January. 

I cannot tell you how glad I am that I got that opportunity. 

Anytime that I question whether or not I’m wasting my time and resources, I think back to that moment and how important it was. 

Doing nothing is not nothing.

Be it for a minute, a day, a week, a year.

Ideas form. Tensions ease.

 The chaos of living pauses.

I learned to make choices from a different place. Not from panic or fear, but from inspiration. 

I got to spend time with myself and my dreams, living some of them out, developing others. 


I created a mission statement and an elevator pitch for my writing. 

Moments of clarity happen more frequently now. 

Now, when people ask me what I do, I tell them that I am a creative lifestyle writer. 

The funny thing is, that draws more blank stares than when I said I did nothing. 


Can’t win  ’em all...


Sincerely,

LeNora Faye
Bitchy Bookkeeper 
Almost an Author
Former Fantastic Violinist 













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